I can’t see your eyes,
Tell me why I can’t see your eyes.
Tell me what to do,
Please tell me what to do.
You can…
Just give me a call,
Just come online,
Just give me your time.
I can talk if you want,
I can stop if you want,
I can look if you want.
I can’t see your eyes,
Tell me why I can’t see your eyes.
Tell me what to do,
Just tell me what to do.
In the enlightened 21st century you probably have a female friend or two. But can men and women really get past the sex thing?
Many men still think Harry (from When Harry Met Sally) had it right. Men and women can’t ever be true friends, because sex always gets in the way.
That piece of throwaway celluloid wisdom has almost become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Men and women can’t be friends because their red-blooded desire is bound to get the better of them sometime. And even if it doesn’t, bona fide romantic partners will come to view the friend as a potential rival, leaving one relationship or the other floundering on the rocks.
Many men still think Harry (from When Harry Met Sally) had it right. Men and women can’t ever be true friends, because sex always gets in the way.
That piece of throwaway celluloid wisdom has almost become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Men and women can’t be friends because their red-blooded desire is bound to get the better of them sometime. And even if it doesn’t, bona fide romantic partners will come to view the friend as a potential rival, leaving one relationship or the other floundering on the rocks.
You have to admit that it’s a shame. A female friend can give you things that your male friends just can’t, and we’re not talking about sex. Female friends can be an unrivalled source of comfort and feminine wisdom.
So with that in mind, we ask: can men and women ever really be friends? Here are the pros and cons.
The pros
There are very few male/female friendships portrayed in films and on TV, and those that are invariably lead to romance. The friendship is just a stage the characters have to get through before realising how very much in love (and lust) they are.
Friendships devoid of lust are possible
But that’s not necessarily true off-screen. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships looked at different kinds of friendships and found that a friendship bond between a man and woman devoid of lust was possible, and that was as true for men as women. A man could find a female friend attractive, but not always want to sleep with her.
Some experts also believe that the idea that men and women can’t be platonic friends – which originates long before When Harry Met Sally – should be consigned to the past.
In an era when men went out to work and women stayed at home, both genders only tended to mix romantically. These days, we comfortably mix at work, at home and in our recreational activities, so male/female friendships are a natural and welcome consequence.
All of which is great, because a female friend can be a boon for men. In fact, in one study men rated their friendships with women as some of the best they had.
That’s because female friends give men the chance to share their feelings and get advice on personal matters, things they don’t often do with male mates.
“Men might find it easier to open up to a female friend about emotional problems than they would to another man,” says Kate Taylor, relationship expert for Match.com. “Women might be more supportive and encouraging than men, and less likely to tease.”
Research by Kathy Werking, author of We’re Just Good Friends, showed that the most positive thing both men and women get out of platonic friendships is the chance to talk one-to-one. She found that many male/female friendships are highly mutually supportive. Both parties get a lot out of them.
Cons: One friend might start to want more
On the other hand, it’s certainly true that platonic friendships with women can be more testing than all male friendships, and that’s at least partly because of the possibility of unrequited sexual tension.
“It’s mainly that one of the friends will start to want more than the other,” says Taylor. “When this happens, things can get strained. There can be jealousy towards your friend’s dates, which is often displayed as moodiness, or unfair criticism towards the third party. If you feel that one of your platonic friends seems to dislike all your partners, it may be they secretly care about you romantically.”
Watching the friend you secretly fancy swan around with other men can be tough. In the study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 62% of the respondents admitted to sexual tension in their male/female friendships.
Mixed signals are always a danger
Women, in particular, disliked the fact that a supposedly platonic friend might misinterpret a supportive hug. Friends of different genders often have to walk a fine line between being playful, supporting and flirty, in the knowledge that physical contact, in particular, can be easily misconstrued.
They also have to put up with the nudge-nudge remarks of same-sex friends. If you’re friends with an attractive woman, expect a relentless examination of the relationship by mates in the pub. “You’re not really just friends are you?” won’t be the half of it.
Girlfriends and dates might get jealous
Finally, a close female friend will most probably attract the jealousy of dates and girlfriends.
“Partners can sometimes feel threatened by a close friendship you have with someone of the opposite sex,” says Taylor. “They might start questioning if it really is truly platonic.”
But she also suggests a solution. “If that happens, you can erase a lot of the doubt by introducing your partner to your friend. Let them see for themselves how distinctly unromantic you are together,” she adds.
The verdict: Male/female friendships are hard work, but worth it
So can men and women be friends? The answer is yes, of course, and as the genders mix more than ever, mixed gender friendships are becoming more common. But they take work, an acceptance of boundaries and the strength of mind to put up with the barracking of the boys in the pub. But they’re almost certainly worth it. As well as everything else, says Taylor, “female friends will give you great dating advice.”
Source : http://him.uk.msn.com/sex-and-dating/can-men-and-women-ever-be-just-good-friends
Even the savviest man can sometimes find it difficult to read whether a woman’s just being friendly or if she’s actually flirting with you. Signals of attraction aren’t always straightforward so here’s a rundown on 10 key signs to watch out for:
1. The eyes have it – When you spot her across a room you notice that she doesn’t just do 
a ‘double take’. She actually does a triple take, glancing at you three times to confirm her attraction to you. Keep an eye out for that third glance and you’ll know that she’s interested.
2. Wandering eyes – Things might’ve seemed to go well in the first few minutes of conversation but then you notice her eyes seemed to wander around the room. Whenever the door opens or closes she can’t help but glance in the direction. Unfortunately you’ve lost her interest.
3. Watch that fiddling – Yes, women often fiddle with their hair and that can signal flirtatious attraction but it can equally signal nerves. Take note if she starts to fiddle with her necklace while chatting to you. This is a key signal of attraction because she is subconsciously drawing your eye-line to her cleavage.
4. Not any old laugh – Not only does she laugh at your jokes but she throws her head back and seems lost in the moment. Wow, you’ve never felt so funny. When attracted to someone soon after meeting them it’s been found that a woman will magnify your sense of humour in her mind. So if she’s into you, she’s into your jokes too.
5. Time doesn’t matter – Anyone who knows what they’re doing on the dating scene will usually claim to have only a ‘little time’ as a man chats them up. This gives them a get-out clause if they decide they’re not attracted to you within a short time. So if suddenly she seems to have all the time in the world it’s an excellent sign.
6. Get closer – You notice that when she comes back from, eg, the ladies room that she pulls her chair closer to you. Not only has she touched up her make-up – so she’s feeling at her best – but she now wants to get up close and personal with you too.
7. In the pink – As you two chat she seems to flush/blush a bit – known as the “sex glow”. Unless she’s been drinking a lot – and this is the result of excess alcohol – it’s a physical sign that she’s feeling warm and cozy in your company.
8. Swaying is the way – Again, as long as she’s not been drinking excessively look out for her body swaying gently in time with your conversation. This will take the form of discreet little back and forth movements that show she’s mirroring your body language. Mirroring is a clear signal of attraction so relax – you might find you mirror her movements back.
9. It’s all about you – You notice her conversation doesn’t just to revolve around her life or general interest topics like hobbies but she asks direct questions about you. She seems keen to hear what you have to say, about what makes you tick, your likes and dislikes, etc. And that means she’s really taking an interest.
10. All important hesitation – As the evening draws to a close and you’re about to go your separate ways she seems to hesitate. There is a distinct ‘moment’ of pause where she doesn’t rush to get her coat or charge for the door. This is a clear signal she wants you to take her number or definitely give her a call if you already have it. If you’re interested in her then go for it.
Source: http://him.uk.msn.com/sex-and-dating/articles.aspx?cp-documentid=159645152
Women are attracted to your personality as much as your body. But what, exactly, are they looking for?
We all know what women want in men, right? They want a muscular body (or was it a slender one?). They want long legs (or was it arms?). They want blonde hair (or was it black?).
OK, maybe we don’t know for certain, but what we can be sure of is that it’s not just about looks and physique. In fact, study after study has shown that, while women do value looks to some extent, they don’t prioritise them in the way men do.
Instead, women place a higher emphasis on personality, and the character traits that show you’re a good catch. And that’s true for short-term flings as well as long-term relationships. So here are the personality traits that women go for and how you can show them off.
Kindness
Think nice guys finish last? Think again.
A study published in the British Journal of Psychology found that women hunting for dates viewed kindness and generosity as a priority.
Over 300 volunteers were shown dating profiles, some of which had been adjusted to suggest that the subjects were altruistic. For example, some of the profiles included lines about helping others or volunteering.
Overwhelmingly, the women showed a preference for more altruistic men. “If a man is kind and generous towards others – even strangers – then there’s a good chance that he’d make a good and generous parent,” explained Dr Pat Barclay from University of Guelph, Canada, who conducted the study.
Confidence
It stands to reason that women are attracted to confident men. Confidence is a sign of success, or at least potential. Confident men can get a woman what she wants.
And a study published last year found that women are more sexually attracted to brooding, proud, confident-looking men than their jollier counterparts. In fact, they tended to find shiny happy blokes a bit of a turn-off.
It could be that male displays of pride – even if that’s only shown by facial expression – suggest confidence and status, and women are hardwired to look for high status men. Other studies have found that smiling can be associated with a lack of dominance, and subservient men are not likely to be high up the pecking order. So if you want to attract women, make sure you’re friendly, but don’t stand around grinning like a lunatic.
Humour
It’s not just a cliché: a good sense of humour really can help in the dating stakes.
A study by the University of Northumbria revealed that women who find men funny also consider them more intelligent and honest than their less amusing counterparts. Men who wrote the funniest descriptions of themselves for lonely heart ads were seen as brainier, more genuine and a better bet for a long-term relationship, according to the research.
“The findings provide evidence that women use humour as an indication of a guy’s intelligence,” said Kristofor McCarty, from Northumbria University, who led the study.
“Intelligence is a very attractive quality as a clever man should be more able to provide resources for his offspring.”
But put those cheesy chat-up lines away. The study also found that only genuinely funny men could laugh a lady into bed. Bad gags were given the thumbs down.
Self-delusion
OK, maybe self-delusion is the wrong term. Maybe we should say overblown self-confidence.
A study published in the journal Psychological Science found that ordinary looking men often ended up with attractive women because of sheer persistence and a mistaken belief in their own attractiveness.
The research, from the US, discovered that men could make up for their lack of physical beauty by trying their luck with an increased number of women. They may receive a lot of knock-backs, but they also have the occasional success.
Of course, this self-delusion isn’t an attractive trait in itself, but it does lead ordinary looking men to at least try to charm women with other traits, like their intelligence, wit and generosity. The only lesson to be taken is that, whatever you look like, don’t be put off by rejection. The harder you try, the luckier you’ll get.
Intelligence
If women prize humour as an indicator of intelligence, clearly intelligence must be a prized trait in men.
Other studies have confirmed that women are attracted to brains, regardless of humour. For example, when a team from Elon University in North Carolina showed female students videos of men performing athletic and mental tasks and asked them to pick favourites, the women tended to go for the most intelligent men.
In other words, it’s worth bigging up your academic achievements (subtly, of course – women don’t like boasting) on a first date or even on your internet dating profile, waxing lyrical about culture or society (without hogging the conversation) or maybe just arming yourself with a really good joke.
So there you have it. If you want to increase your chances of attracting the women – or woman – of your dreams, science suggests that kindness, confidence, humour and intelligence – along with perseverance – are the keys to success.
Image by @Doug88888 via Flickr
Love is a terribly beautiful thing.
It makes you feel,
whether you want to or not.
Love creates a whole entire world specifically for you and your significant other.
That fatal attraction between two souls has been the inspiration for the most beautiful and the most grotesque of art.
It has been the beating heart of the world’s greatest romances and tragedies.
Love, especially true love, makes you feel,
whether you want to or not.
If your love is happy,
your heart soars above everyone else,
bringing you joy you’ve never known before.
However, on the other side of the coin,
there is sadness beyond compare.
When your other half is in pain,
your own heart cries out from your chest in agony.
Their strife is yours also to bear.
You can never pull yourself away from them,
no matter how much it hurts.
Why?
Because this is love.
For better or worse.
Love is a beautifully terrible thing.
You can never truly understand the depths of your own happiness until it had been joined with someone else’s.
Just like you can’t know the true bottom of your soul until you have shared in the pain of another person.
You become one with that other person, and in turn, you yourself become whole.
This is love.
Isn’t it grand?
For the first time I have had ‘Two Romantic Dreams in Two Nights’. This is very strange because I have done nothing unusual to encourage those type of dreams. I can’t remember much now but I know the dream I had last night was romantic, involved cuddling, kissing, holding hands and staring into each others eyes. I don’t even have a girlfriend to encourage that sort of dream.
It was the same the night before it and I got up all happy and loving life even though I’m going through some bad times. I think I can pinpoint the cause of being positive, happy and confident for these few days. For a while I had been kind of alone because I had lost a best friend who was a girl and for me a girl-friend is very important. Girls who you are friends with are more understanding, sensitive and caring than guys. They also like shopping and having a meal occasionally and this is what I enjoy too so it’s important I have caring friend who is a girl.
Anyways that best friend found a guy in her life and forgot about the friend who was there for her when she was sad or happy. Recently I have connected with a friend very well and this was through a social network. Now we even have each others numbers and we text on a daily basis and make each other smile with some banter. Her positive attitude and much love and care for me has most likely changed my life. I’m more happy with life when I actually might have been depressed because of my current situation. This special friend has been very good to me and I appreciate her a lot and she is the only reason I can think of for having romantic dreams.
This does not mean I’ve fallen in love with her but it indicates that when someone cares about you so much and makes you smile it can change you mentally. Changes because of her has made me feel cared about and that is causing me to have these nice romantic dreams. I only wish I could remember who that girl was in the past two dreams.
This post can help women understand that many men do have feelings and think about the women they like for long periods. There are men out there who take advantage of women who want to care and love them, men find them as easy targets because they fool them by displaying similar actions for a short period of time. Not all men are like that and there are some who stay committed to the person they love. The following list in no particular order is what women ask for in a loving man:
Ok. Since I’m being pretty general and theoretical here let’s get a bit more specific and talk about what every women dreams about: falling in love. Here’s how people fall in love: First, understand you do NOT fall in love with someone when you are in their presence. No. You fall in love when you’re off by yourself, thinking about them afterwards. This is why it is so hypnotically powerful, because you are doing it to yourself, and people are always best hypnotists.
Here’s how it happens: you go out with someone, maybe even one date. And then you go home, and you’re lying there, thinking about them. And, you form an image of them in your mind. And as you do that, you start to list to yourself all the qualities about them that you like, “She’s so, she’s so, she’s really.” Maybe then you picture you and them having lots of fun in all sorts of situations. Then you get that warm, funny feeling right in your solar plexus, and then, the nail in your coffin, you say her name to yourself 2 or 3 times. If you’re really a geek, maybe you even dance around the house like ‘Chandler’ from ‘FRIENDS’. Or you possible go about bringing up her name in every conversation with your friends.
Sound familiar? Now, as you recall the times in your past when you did this, were you then able to stay cool, in control of yourself AND the relationship? Or were you calling her every day, always wanting to see her, and sending her the signal of being clingy, to the point where she, of course, dumped you for a man who showed attributes of masculinity.
A man, in control, pulling her away from you. No, this does not mean all women want men like that. However women do like a man to be a man no matter what. She does not want to be the one who makes you feel better if you are in tears; she wants you to be the strong one and hug her when she is in tears and be a strong character in the relationship that is her rock. Overall this gives the relationship some stability and keeps the connection strong because you will be the one she comes to when there is a problem or when she needs to be loved. If you’re not like that then some women usually have a friend, a man, who is strong and her rock who she can go to. I want to clarify that this is not always the case and every relationship is unique. However many relationships are similar to what I have discussed in this paragraph.
Here’s the point: “Love” is a process people do to themselves! It’s not a “thing” you trip over or a “hole” you fall into. And I know, even though I’m not there watching you, that as I describe it here in this post, you recalled and went through that process yourself, and recalled the feelings associated with it. And if I can do it you, on a blog, when I’m not even there, then you can, if you know how, skilfully describe this (or any other) process to a women in your presence, link it to yourself, and in a matter of minutes, cause her to undergo that process and fall in love with you on the spot, dummy!
Think about this for a second instead of dismissing it as a process that won’t work. The dummy process you did to yourself can now be used to make her fawn all over you, repeatedly and predictably!
WOMEN AREN’T “NICE”
It is critical to realise that women are human beings and not made from sugar and spice. They are just as competitive, manipulative, conniving, game playing, merciless, and ruthless, in their quest to get the man of their choice. Once they “get” their man, they will try to control him.
The irony, of course, is that women detest men that can be controlled by women. However, women WILL try to control you. Sometimes, women are only trying to CONTROL you as a TEST: To see if you are THE MAN.
If you permit them to control you, you FAIL the test.
The desire for control, for both sexes, stems from the massive stakes involved, but it’s far more devastating for a man to submit to control. It destroys his sexual attractiveness.
For a man, it’s always self-destructive for him to submit to any control whatsoever, no matter what the woman’s reason is for attempting to control him. And no matter what, a man ALWAYS ends up coming out more attractive by not submitting.
Since women are not “nice” and since they will attempt to control you with ingenious tactics, it is imperative you keep your guard up and not let any power or control slip through your fingers.
One of the most tragic mistakes a man can make is to let a woman know that something she did actually bothered him at all.
You MUST understand that there is just too much at stake for both men and women to play nicely “by the rules”.
If you let a woman know that something she did hurt you, she will simply use that knowledge AGAINST you, to CONTROL you.
She will try to see how far you will go, in terms of kissing her ass, to try to prevent her from doing it again. And most guys resort to this pathetic bribery. It’s as if these guys are saying, “I’m kissing your ass so you will like me enough to not do that mean thing again.”
An example of this phenomenon is when a man tells a woman that it bothers him when she talks rudely to him. Then, not only does he now seem needy, which is unsexy, but also, she can then use extortion in subtle ways. For example, she might hint that you should do this, that, and whatever else for her or she might do the hurtful thing again.
She may use psychological warfare, and act kind of distant, to see how scared you are of her repeating this behaviour, and what you will do for her to prevent it.
You must not accept ANY crap from any woman, EVER.
As soon as she acts up, you must show how calm you are as you deliver the punishment, the figurative SPANK.
This way, she will sense that it is HER problem, not yours, for acting up.
She will know that you can easily get another, better woman than her.
Of course, if she did anything serious, then dump her and forget about her immediately. ZERO second chances for any real serious shit.
NEVER explain to a woman that she should treat you right.
If she doesn’t know that, DUMP her. She is not worth keeping if she does not treat you right. Tell her not to come back until she shapes up.
And she will usually come running back to you when you throw her to the curb for misbehaving.
It’s called you having self-respect.
And if women sense that NOTHING bothers you, then there is NOTHING they can use against you. And, after testing you to see if you can be hurt or not, and seeing that you indeed cannot, they will usually kiss your feet.
If a woman does not show an immediate massive change, kick her out.
Does that sound like a mean, bitter statement about women?
It’s not. It’s the prescription for reality. 99.999999999 per cent of the time.
You might be tempted after a few good weeks with a woman to think that if she does something out of line, then you could just tell her that what she did hurt. After all, “She loves me, so she wouldn’t want to hurt me again”.
Nope.
If you show her she hurt you, she’ll keep it in her arsenal.
And she will use it again.
Think about it like this: 99.99 per cent of the time, if somebody is being a prick, they know it.
Women know if they are doing something wrong to you.
And if they really don’t know, it’s probably something trivial and not worth you mentioning to her anyway!
So if you DO indicate something hurt you, she will just know how to activate your “hurt button” in the future.
So here’s my recommendation:
Keep your cool at all times.
Don’t let her know that ANYTHING bothers you.
Always, calmly tell her she misbehaved by doing the specific thing she did. Tell her you won’t tolerate it.
But don’t let her feel it actually bothered you.
NEVER argue with her about it. It will NOT HELP, only make things worse. I guarantee it.
Now of course, if you have been with a woman who has been great to you for years, and once in a while she acts up a bit, well that’s perfectly normal you probably aren’t perfect either. You’ve both earned a bit of slack.
There is a BUT, though.
But heed this warning:
Women will sense a guy that they can get to kiss their ass, and will take FULL ADVANTAGE OF HIM till he is barely even a rug to walk over.
And women will deny this till the end of time, even coming up with brilliant “excuses” for their bad behaviour.
Now that you know this, it’s time to stop taking any crap from any woman. You are responsible from now on if you put up with anything that doesn’t feel right.
Think about that the next time you’re about to be “Mr Nice Guy” with any woman. Women understand, relate to, and demand mental toughness more than you realise.
(Notice I used the word mental toughness. Don’t EVER get
PHYSICALLY VIOLENT or even upset with any woman, I’ll explain later why this is so important to your success, and goes way beyond just the law.)
Don’t be Mr Nice Guy. And don’t be Mr Angry. Neither one is cool.
So you know now not to be a nice guy. How exactly should you be?
Pound this short answer into your head: Be “THE MAN”. In the macho, cliché sense.
Oh, I really hope that doesn’t hurt you or insult you.
It shouldn’t, because if you haven’t been THE MAN, it’s not your fault.
For a long time, I didn’t think like THE MAN. It isn’t easy in our inane, politically correct culture.
A lot of guys don’t believe me when I say that being THE MAN, inside, mentally, and even more important, emotionally, is THE VITAL KEY to sparking and sustaining a woman’s desire. These guys think that their looks and money are more important.
I would like to point out that these are not my opinions and as my blog states these are opinions that are expressed and shared to be understood.
You must ABSOLUTELY ABANDON the idea that you should make women feel “equal”. Women don’t want to be equal with you, and, logically, they are even more repulsed by the idea of you making them “number one”. I know this is all contrary to popular belief, but remember, it was popular beliefs that screwed up most guys in the first place.
NO, NO, NO.
Women desperately want a man who is SUPERIOR to them. Men and women are NOT the same. Nor should they be. Nor do they want to be. Trying to make a woman feel “equal” to you will only make her feel that you are therefore an INFERIOR male.
Does a superior kiss the ass of an inferior? Does a king bow down to his servant?
No!
I’m not saying women want to be your slave, but they DESPISE the idea of being equal. If you show a woman “equal-ness”, she will feel ZERO sexual desire for you. You will be going right against nature and destroying any attraction she can feel for you.
NO MORE “EQUAL-NESS” WITH WOMEN.
TAKE CHARGE- THAT’S WHAT WOMEN WANT.
Over a million years, women evolved to NOT feel attraction for weakness. And, just as men are ruthless in their desire for a sexy looking woman, women are just as ruthless in desire for a man who is DOMINANT with her and with everyone in his life.
TOTAL CONTROL OF HER WORLD
You must wield all the cards in the game; your deck has to be stacked.
SHE MUST KNOW AND FEEL THAT HER ENTIRE WORLD IS YOU.
Her HAPPINESS is the privilege of having you.
Her MISERY stems from NOT having you.
How do you make this clear?
Simple:
First, be THE MAN always. And then, at the first sign of misbehaviour, DROP her. Make it clear, without anger, that you mean it. If you have been THE MAN all along, she will seriously regret what she has done. More importantly, the cause of that regret is the loss of YOU.
Then, when she comes back crying, KISS HER. This will RAISE her spirits tremendously and totally throw her off balance. And you will have clearly given her the lesson and the feeling that both heaven and hell are in your hands alone.
Does that sound cruel?
Well, the alternative is to become a doormat by not being in total control. Women LOVE to turn guys into doormats if ANY opportunity for it exists.
By the same token, women WORSHIP a man who IS in control. They CRAVE such a man, just as a man craves a hot looking woman. As a matter of fact, women are more ruthless in their quest for a dominant man than men are in their quest for a sexy looking woman, because a man typically can have sex with many women, and yet not invest much.
But a woman, by sheer biology and the dynamics of pregnancy, is investing much more in sex than any man, and therefore must be more ruthless in her search for the “right” partner. And the “right partner” for a woman has always meant a MAN, in CONTROL of everything.
It’s a fact, and better you hear it now than never. I once thought women did like “nice” guys. After all, I thought, “God could never have created a world in which those lovely fair creatures called women could actually sexually desire bad guys”.
Well, they don’t like abuse, but they do like “bad guys”.
I would like to point out that these are not my opinions and as my blog states these are opinions that are expressed and shared to be understood.
There is another disaster that occurs from being a “nice guy”. Specifically, from being a nice guy that BUYS woman things. Here’s what happens when you buy a woman things:
STAGE ONE: A woman will start to treat you like crap.
STAGE TWO: She will demand that you buy her more and more things.
STAGE THREE: She’ll secretly search for a man who turns her on.
This does not make women “evil”. Let me state some facts before I explain my theory of why this happens:
1. Women have depended on men for a million years for food/shelter.
2. These days, money is that link to food and shelter.
3. Of course, women have also always needed men for sperm.
However, throughout all this time, a woman could go to one man for food and shelter, (and grudgingly accept his sperm), and secretly go to another man especially for what she has been genetically programmed to “know” is his superior-gene-carrying sperm.
In other words, a woman could use one man for providing, and secretly have sex with another man she “knows” will give her superior children. (And sometimes, even more rarely, women use more than one man for each purpose. In general though, women do not desire as many partners as men desire.)
Here are the two clinchers:
There is evidence to show that when women have orgasms, they retain more of the sperm inside of them. It is also a fact that most of a male’s sperm is designed not to impregnate, but to destroy other men’s sperm that may be inside a woman.
If women were so faithful, men would never have evolved to the point that their own sperm has become very much a weapon of self-defence used to counter-strike women’s evolved strategies of “cheating”.
Think about it: If a woman mates with a man that she is using just for food and shelter, and if she is not sexually attracted to him, she would not as likely orgasm. Thus, she’d not as likely retain his sperm. She could then secretly have sex with another man she is attracted to, be more likely to orgasm then, and retain this other man’s sperm. This would increase her chances of having his child.
Research indicates that women are actually most likely to cheat at the very time they are most fertile… Evolution’s way of creating superior children, though it often screws up. By the way, I’m not saying that all women cheat, and I’m not stating that women purposely cheat at the time they are most fertile. These processes are not conscious.
Attraction is based on basic on cues of genetic health and superiority, although these cues sometimes are not accurate indications. A person could easily be attracted to someone and have a child, only to find out later that the father/mother is genetically diseased.
Nonetheless, this is what is built into us as instinct.
So, if you start buying things for a woman, especially if you do it right away, you activate a very powerful instinct in her that blares “Not sexy, but worth using.” This happens to her on a subconscious level, which seems subtle, but is actually devastatingly powerful in its effect.
Better to NEVER buy woman things, so at least if she is not interested in you, she will not pretend to be interested in you. You will know where you stand. But if you buy her things, she may pretend to be interested, as she tries to use you for money, since the idea of using men as providers is pretty ingrained.
Don’t you want a woman to desire you in a sexual sense? Then
DON’T make her think you are a provider. Make it clear that ALL you offer is YOU, which is the ULTIMATE pleasure.
Now, I’m not saying all women are bad. And I’m not saying that after going out for a few months, you can’t do something nice or romantic. At that point, it will be clearer that you are not doing these things to win her desire.
I’m just saying how evolution seems to have worked, and that therefore you should use this information to make sure you DON’T trigger the wrong instinct in women. If you want to find out more about this, read
“Sperm Wars”, by Robin Baker, Ph.D.
THE MAN is the ultimate reward for a woman.
He gives her nothing else.
