How to decode her flirting

Experts believe the way she flirts is a clue to her personality. But what is her flirting style telling you?

You might have just met her at a bar, or you may have known her for years. Whichever it is, you’re pretty certain you’ve noticed a flicker of sexual or romantic interest.

But what, exactly, has she done to give you that impression? It’s an important question because, according to research, her flirting style can give you a major clue about what to expect in the next few hours, days or weeks – and even what you can expect in a long term relationship (if it gets that far).

In fact, one recent study from the University of Kansas in the US identified five flirting styles and even suggested the types of relationships those styles might lead to. So here’s what her flirting might be telling you.

The physical flirt

She may ostentatiously look you up and down. She may punctuate her conversation with a playful hand on your arm or an obvious flick of her abundant blond locks. According to the psychologists at Kansas University, she’s a physical flirt, and her body language speaks volumes.

What it probably doesn’t say, however, is that you have bagged yourself a guaranteed one-night stand. You haven’t. Physical flirts might be happy to show their sexual interest, but that doesn’t mean they’re promiscuous.

She may well fall for your charms, though. According to the research, physical flirts fall head over heels quite easily, and quickly develop an emotional and – when the time comes – sexual connection.

And don’t be blinded by prejudice. Physical flirts can make for good relationships, even in the long term. Two of the key ingredients of a lasting relationship are sexual chemistry and a strong emotional bond, and physical flirts tend to develop both in abundance.

The traditional flirt

If you think you’ve seen a flicker of interest from a traditional flirt, it’s probably only a flicker. If you’re getting anywhere at all it might be because you’ve known her a long time and you’ve done all the pursuing.

In other words, the traditional flirt believes men should do the asking and women should wait to be asked. If you try other flirting techniques on her – particularly the physical kind – you’re likely to put her off. If she flirts at all it will probably be subconsciously and you’ll have to be aware of some very subtle clues, from a very brief glance in your direction to the shy, nervous fidgeting that can at least indicate interest.

How will a relationship play out? Well, you won’t have to worry about her flirting with other men. Aside from that, she’ll value the security you offer and may well be quite introverted, preferring a cosy night in with you to raucous parties or nightclubs.

The polite flirt

The polite flirt knows the rules. You’re more likely to have to approach her and you’re unlikely to feel the spark of sexual chemistry if you do. It might be there, but she’ll be careful not to let it show.

She probably won’t be cold or standoffish, mind, particularly if she likes you. She’ll engage in lively conversation. She’ll laugh at your jokes. She may swap numbers or email addresses at the end of the night.

But her flirting is likely to be non-sexual in the first instance, and she may seem a little reserved. Her manners will be impeccable but telling her that her eyes sparkle like the brightest stars in the firmament is unlikely to do you any favours. She doesn’t flirt ostentatiously and she’s not flattered by the ostentatious flirting of others.

The good news is that, according to the Kansas research, polite flirters “do tend to have meaningful relationships”. She might be hard work at the outset, but she may well be a loving and loyal partner.

The sincere flirt

There’s no game-playing with the sincere flirt, and no danger that her interest in you will only be sustained until you stop buying the drinks. If you’ve known her a while and she’s said yes to a date, it’s unlikely that she’s agreed on a whim or that she’s going into it half-heartedly. She’s checking you out as serious potential mate material.

So how do you identify a sincere flirt? Well, she might show a lot of interest in your life, work and interests. She will ask questions and be attentive to answers.

She wants to make an emotional connection and will let you know that she’s interested (if she is). So expect her to be open, honest and straight down the line. Her flirting style might not be playful or full of sexy hints and innuendo, but it will be genuine. She won’t do anything purely for effect.

Happily, she may carry that emotional honesty into any ensuing relationship. So if you don’t mess her around, she won’t mess you around, either.

The playful flirt

She’s great fun to be around and her playful, sexy flirting style can send a young man’s imagination into overdrive. You may be very glad – at first – to have chanced upon the most playful female flirt in the bar.

But be warned, the playful flirt is the diametric opposite of her sincere counterpart. She may very well flirt with you or say yes to a date on a whim. She may laugh at your jokes and compliment your style without even considering you as boyfriend material. Her flirting might suggest otherwise, but you’d be wrong to think there’s any future to your encounter beyond the next 10 minutes.

The fact is, playful flirts enjoy flirting. It’s not a means to an end (be that sex, a romance or a relationship), it’s an end in itself. They find it a fun way to spend an evening, partly because of the boost it gives to their own self-esteem. She’ll love your obvious sexual interest, but perhaps not in the way you’d hope.

And any ensuing relationship? Frankly, it’s highly unlikely there’ll be one. If there is, it will probably be fleeting and shallow. Which is fine, of course, as long as you’re not expecting a whole lot more.

If the scientists are right, you really can gauge her wants and desires from the way she flirts. Pick up on the clues early and you could save yourself a lot of heartache, or stop your own flirting style from driving a potential long-term lover away.

Source: http://him.uk.msn.com/sex-and-dating/how-to-decode-her-flirting

WOMEN HATE “EQUALITY” GUYS – Part 6

I would like to point out that these are not my opinions and as my blog states these are opinions that are expressed and shared to be understood.

You must ABSOLUTELY ABANDON the idea that you should make women feel “equal”. Women don’t want to be equal with you, and, logically, they are even more repulsed by the idea of you making them “number one”. I know this is all contrary to popular belief, but remember, it was popular beliefs that screwed up most guys in the first place.

NO, NO, NO.

Women desperately want a man who is SUPERIOR to them. Men and women are NOT the same. Nor should they be. Nor do they want to be. Trying to make a woman feel “equal” to you will only make her feel that you are therefore an INFERIOR male.

Does a superior kiss the ass of an inferior? Does a king bow down to his servant?

No!

I’m not saying women want to be your slave, but they DESPISE the idea of being equal. If you show a woman “equal-ness”, she will feel ZERO sexual desire for you. You will be going right against nature and destroying any attraction she can feel for you.

NO MORE “EQUAL-NESS” WITH WOMEN.

TAKE CHARGE- THAT’S WHAT WOMEN WANT.

Over a million years, women evolved to NOT feel attraction for weakness. And, just as men are ruthless in their desire for a sexy looking woman, women are just as ruthless in desire for a man who is DOMINANT with her and with everyone in his life.

TOTAL CONTROL OF HER WORLD

You must wield all the cards in the game; your deck has to be stacked.

SHE MUST KNOW AND FEEL THAT HER ENTIRE WORLD IS YOU.

Her HAPPINESS is the privilege of having you.

Her MISERY stems from NOT having you.

How do you make this clear?

Simple:

First, be THE MAN always. And then, at the first sign of misbehaviour, DROP her. Make it clear, without anger, that you mean it. If you have been THE MAN all along, she will seriously regret what she has done. More importantly, the cause of that regret is the loss of YOU.

Then, when she comes back crying, KISS HER. This will RAISE her spirits tremendously and totally throw her off balance. And you will have clearly given her the lesson and the feeling that both heaven and hell are in your hands alone.

Does that sound cruel?

Well, the alternative is to become a doormat by not being in total control. Women LOVE to turn guys into doormats if ANY opportunity for it exists.

By the same token, women WORSHIP a man who IS in control. They CRAVE such a man, just as a man craves a hot looking woman. As a matter of fact, women are more ruthless in their quest for a dominant man than men are in their quest for a sexy looking woman, because a man typically can have sex with many women, and yet not invest much.

But a woman, by sheer biology and the dynamics of pregnancy, is investing much more in sex than any man, and therefore must be more ruthless in her search for the “right” partner. And the “right partner” for a woman has always meant a MAN, in CONTROL of everything.

It’s a fact, and better you hear it now than never. I once thought women did like “nice” guys. After all, I thought, “God could never have created a world in which those lovely fair creatures called women could actually sexually desire bad guys”.

Well, they don’t like abuse, but they do like “bad guys”.

60 Laws in Sex

1.The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

2.Nothing improves with age.

3.No matter how many times you’ve had it, if it’s offered take it, because it’ll never be quite the same again.

4.Sex has no calories.

5.Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

6.There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

7.Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.

8.No sex with anyone in the same office.

9.Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

10.A man in the house is worth two in the street.

11.If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

12.Virginity can be cured.

13.When a man’s wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

14.Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

15.The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can’t stand years later.

16.Sex is dirty only if it’s done right.

17.It is always the wrong time of month.

18.The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

19.When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

20.Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.

21.Sow your wild oats on Saturday night – Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.

22.The younger the better.

23.The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.

24.It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

25.Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.

26.Before you find your handsome prince, you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs.

27.There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.

28.Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.

29.Love is a hole in the heart.

30.If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.

31.Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

32.Do it only with the best.

33.Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.

34.One good turn gets most of the blankets.

35.You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

36.Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

37.It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

38.Thou shalt not commit adultery…..unless in the mood.

39.Never lie down with a woman who’s got more troubles than you.

40.Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.

41.Never argue with a women when she’s tired — or rested.

42.A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn’t.

43.What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

44.It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

45.Never say no.

46.A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn’t love her.

47.Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.

48.Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.

49.Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.

50.A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.

51.Love comes in spurts.

52.The world does not revolve on an axis.

53.Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.

54.Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

55.Don’t do it if you can’t keep it up.

56.There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

57.Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.

58.Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

59.”This won’t hurt, I promise.”

60.Never reject a women in bed when she is showing you a lot of affection.

Male Sexuality: Why Women Don’t Understand It – And Men Don’t Either

Image via Wikipedia

Male sexuality is not simple. It is not primarily driven by hormones, nor is it intrinsically stronger than that of women. At their deepest level, most men don’t see women as things, conquests, or simply means to a sexual end. Most men don’t hate women but worry about them; they don’t feel superior but often inferior; and they aren’t irresponsible but often feel too responsible. Men may actually have more power than women, but they usually feel as if they have less.

They may appear not to need women, but are more likely to feel secretly as if their needs are bottomless. The real reason that men sometimes put women down is to avoid feeling put down themselves. The real reason that some men abandon women is to to avoid feeling abandoned. Men themselves rarely understand their own sexuality, a fact that contributes to the misconceptions that women have about them.

Men are not only less willing in general to be introspective than women, but are also more likely to feel shame about the ways that their sexual preferences are based on emotions deemed weak, or on feelings like guilt, worry, helplessness, and inferiority. Further, men are particularly ashamed of fantasies that appear to violate traditional masculine norms. Such embarrassment contributes to a general fear of self-disclosure in men and leads them to shut down in conversations with women about sexual matters.

One of the great potential benefits of the theory of sexual arousal presented here is that not only can women come to understand their male partners better, but also men can reduce their shame about their own sexuality. Male sexuality has to contend with special versions of two powerful emotional states: guilt and loneliness.Women share these feelings but in a different way. To the extent that masculinity has to involve a rejection of femininity, men feel both hyper-responsible for women and have difficulty connecting with them. Such painful feelings are highly personal but also profoundly social. Consider the central psychic role of guilt. Our culture contributes mightily to its intensity and repressiveness. For example,we devalue old age and celebrate youth, prejudicial attitudes that lend a certain reality to the survivor guilt that people feel about surpassing their elders, about leaving them behind. And our societal ideal of individualism further accentuates separation guilt because it contains the expectation that children will move away from home, start their own families, and “make it” in society without the help of kinship networks.

In our culture, guilt is regularly evoked and exacerbated by the drumbeat about independence and the virtue of leaving one’s family. The “good life” in our culture is based on separation and autonomy, not on familial or community engagement, and such an ethos makes us more vulnerable to feeling disloyal and guilty about excluding loved ones from our lives.

Consider what might happen if our society provided families with more help in raising children, more opportunities for love and attachment than one or even two caretakers can provide. What if we were able to introduce more balance and flexibility into our ideals of masculinity and femininity? Perhaps then we could create families in which boys no longer had to push away from their mothers with such rigidity and girls no longer had to feel so guilty about being strong.Men might feel less burdened with responsibility and feel less inclined to use their sexuality to avoid it. Grown women might feel less survivor guilt about having pleasure and might be able to enjoy more varied and less inhibited forms of it with greater impunity.

The result might then be a more liberated and healthy type of sexual connectedness between the sexes. As we’ve seen, men today are lonelier than ever, and such isolation is fertile ground for a growing interest in pornography and Internet sex. Men today are not only isolated by the type of masculinity that they developed growing up, a masculinity that seemed to require an especially forceful push way from their mothers, but they are isolated merely by adapting to their normal social role. And yet there are millions of Joes who work every day at jobs in which they are cut off from peers, who go home to families who don’t know their neighbors, and raise children without the benefit of the extended families and support of past generations. These men are subject to a type of everyday loneliness and isolation that is so normal few would complain about it.

These same men, if they don’t turn to drugs or alcohol for relief, seek out a male culture of camaraderie based on objectifying women, or have affairs with women for whom they feel no responsibility, or spend hours with their porn collections and computer monitors fantasizing about being connected to women who want nothing more than to make them happy. Their wives suffer the same types of isolation, of course, although women tend to be more embedded in supportive relationships than men. But the forces that drive men apart do the same to women.

The solution to the problem of alienation in our society is to recognize that both men and women need to feel connected, need communities in which they feel recognized and safe, and need to have work in which they feel they’re making a contribution to something bigger than themselves. Both sexes need lives that are more engaged with other people while at the same time embracing the freedom to be selfishly pleasure seeking. Sex, after all, is about being separate and joined at the same time. The fact that men tend to emphasize the former and women the latter is not an irreducible fact of gender, but the result of asymmetries in childrearing and socialization. But more than that, such tensions reflect the fact that in our society as a whole we don’t know how to be involved with one another without feeling burdened or selfishly indulgent without feeling guilty. If we can solve this problem on a societal level, it will go a long way to solving it in the bedroom.

However, it won’t go all the way. Sex will always be complicated.