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Secrets of the female mind revealed
Struggling to understand her reasoning and behaviour? Let science explain the intricacies of the female mind.
Go to a busy pub in any town or city in Britain tonight and there’s every chance you’ll overhear a bunch of blokes talking about the mysteries of the female mind.
“I just don’t understand her,” one might say. “She’s so emotional,” another might pipe up. “She’s a slave to her hormones,” a third might interject.
These are all cliches, of course, but within each lies a nugget of truth. For sound biological or evolutionary reasons, men and women do think differently. Here are some of the scientifically verified secrets of a woman’s mind, because forewarned is forearmed.
Are women more jealous?
It’s a widely held view that women are more jealous than men. They are more possessive (the theory goes) and more likely to fly off the handle at any sign of interest from competing females.
Research has found that it’s not quite that simple. In fact, men and women both get jealous, but over subtly different things. A study published last year in the journal Personality and Individual Differences discovered that when men suspect infidelity, they’ll ask more questions about sex. When women suspect it, they’ll ask more questions about emotions.
That chimes with earlier research and evolutionary theory. We men are more jealous about physical infidelity because it calls into question our paternity (this is all deep down in our subconscious), and our biological raison d’etre is to pass on our genes.
A woman doesn’t have that worry, of course. She knows the child is hers. Instead, she is more concerned with emotional infidelity, because it threatens the protective family unit she needs to bring that child up securely.
That might explain why your partner can get jealous over what you consider to be a supportive, friendly, but sexually innocent relationship with a female friend.
Are women more emotional?
This is another old chestnut. Women are more emotional. They shed tears at every opportunity. They always know how to turn a minor drama into a major crisis.
According to the latest research, there’s a nugget of truth in that. Women are not more emotional, but they are more prone to ‘emotional stress’. That might explain why she gets mad at you for your more laid-back attitude to being late, or getting lost, or financial difficulties.
In the study, levels of a stress hormone that barely registered in male rats excited the brains of female rats. And though the subjects were rodents, researchers say the results may well explain the difference in human male and female attitudes to stress.
“This may help to explain why women are twice as vulnerable as men to stress-related disorders,” said study leader Dr Rita Valentino, of The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Men’s brains tend to cope better with stress hormones, making them less likely to turn that drama into a crisis.
But it’s just as true to say that men are too unemotional, rather than women are too emotional. One neuro-imaging study found that men are simply less equipped to read emotion than women, which might explain why we consider women over emotional.
Are women more moody?
A man who has forgotten to put the toilet seat down or take the rubbish out and received a verbal volley from his partner in return will often mutter about her irrational moodiness. And those poor put-upon males may have a point.
Aside from the hormonal changes associated with the female menstrual cycle (see below) new research also suggests that women may be naturally the moodier gender. Scientists at the University of Montreal found that men make 52% more of a hormone called serotonin than women. Serotonin is also known as the happy hormone, which might give you a clue as to what low levels can lead to.
Are women slaves to their hormones?
Women may make less serotonin, but in fact both sexes are slaves to their hormones. If you don’t believe us just visit a prison for violent male offenders. You’ll find an awful lot of testosterone swilling about in there.
That’s an extreme example, but it shows what hormones can do. Both men and women are affected by hormones, but on an everyday level (away from the prison yard) female hormonal imbalance can be more acute than its male equivalent. That’s why women suffer from the sometimes severe mood swings associated with PMS.
It’s also true that women interfere with their hormones more than men, principally through the contraceptive pill. Scientists at Stirling University claimed last year that the pill affects women’s choice in men. They found that women who took the pill were more likely to go for caring, steady men, rather than bad boys and dangerous, macho types.
Nobody’s quite sure why that should be, but there’s no doubt that hormones play a huge part in male and female personality. It’s just that the peaks and troughs of the female cycle tend to be more noticeable to the men in their lives.
Are women more illogical?
It’s certainly true, according to evolutionary psychology, that women should be more illogical. Simon Baron-Cohen, a psychologist at the University of Cambridge, has suggested that women’s thinking is more likely to be characterised by ‘empathising tendencies’, and male thinking by ‘systemising tendencies’.
Or to put it more simply, women are people people, and men thing people. Women are better at empathising with other people, understanding them and figuring out character and personality traits. That’s because these skills were more useful to them in our evolutionary past.
Men had to be better at making tools and working out strategies for tracking and killing prey. So men are more likely to be ‘things’ people. We work things out, master them and then apply them to our advantage.
And that’s why, to us, women can seem a bit flaky and illogical, while to them, we can seem too practical and unemotional. It’s why we try to solve their problems for them, when they only want a sympathetic shoulder to cry on.
Of course, we should add that this doesn’t apply to everyone all the time. You get some very practical women and some very emotional men. It just means that, on average, women might be a little less practical than men.
What all this shows is that – surprise surprise – men and women really do think differently, some of the time. But there’s no right or wrong, better or worse. Both genders are the way they are for good reason, and it can be useful, and reassuring, to know what those reasons are.
How to decode her flirting
Experts believe the way she flirts is a clue to her personality. But what is her flirting style telling you?
You might have just met her at a bar, or you may have known her for years. Whichever it is, you’re pretty certain you’ve noticed a flicker of sexual or romantic interest.
But what, exactly, has she done to give you that impression? It’s an important question because, according to research, her flirting style can give you a major clue about what to expect in the next few hours, days or weeks – and even what you can expect in a long term relationship (if it gets that far).
In fact, one recent study from the University of Kansas in the US identified five flirting styles and even suggested the types of relationships those styles might lead to. So here’s what her flirting might be telling you.
The physical flirt
She may ostentatiously look you up and down. She may punctuate her conversation with a playful hand on your arm or an obvious flick of her abundant blond locks. According to the psychologists at Kansas University, she’s a physical flirt, and her body language speaks volumes.
What it probably doesn’t say, however, is that you have bagged yourself a guaranteed one-night stand. You haven’t. Physical flirts might be happy to show their sexual interest, but that doesn’t mean they’re promiscuous.
She may well fall for your charms, though. According to the research, physical flirts fall head over heels quite easily, and quickly develop an emotional and – when the time comes – sexual connection.
And don’t be blinded by prejudice. Physical flirts can make for good relationships, even in the long term. Two of the key ingredients of a lasting relationship are sexual chemistry and a strong emotional bond, and physical flirts tend to develop both in abundance.
The traditional flirt
If you think you’ve seen a flicker of interest from a traditional flirt, it’s probably only a flicker. If you’re getting anywhere at all it might be because you’ve known her a long time and you’ve done all the pursuing.
In other words, the traditional flirt believes men should do the asking and women should wait to be asked. If you try other flirting techniques on her – particularly the physical kind – you’re likely to put her off. If she flirts at all it will probably be subconsciously and you’ll have to be aware of some very subtle clues, from a very brief glance in your direction to the shy, nervous fidgeting that can at least indicate interest.
How will a relationship play out? Well, you won’t have to worry about her flirting with other men. Aside from that, she’ll value the security you offer and may well be quite introverted, preferring a cosy night in with you to raucous parties or nightclubs.
The polite flirt
The polite flirt knows the rules. You’re more likely to have to approach her and you’re unlikely to feel the spark of sexual chemistry if you do. It might be there, but she’ll be careful not to let it show.
She probably won’t be cold or standoffish, mind, particularly if she likes you. She’ll engage in lively conversation. She’ll laugh at your jokes. She may swap numbers or email addresses at the end of the night.
But her flirting is likely to be non-sexual in the first instance, and she may seem a little reserved. Her manners will be impeccable but telling her that her eyes sparkle like the brightest stars in the firmament is unlikely to do you any favours. She doesn’t flirt ostentatiously and she’s not flattered by the ostentatious flirting of others.
The good news is that, according to the Kansas research, polite flirters “do tend to have meaningful relationships”. She might be hard work at the outset, but she may well be a loving and loyal partner.
The sincere flirt
There’s no game-playing with the sincere flirt, and no danger that her interest in you will only be sustained until you stop buying the drinks. If you’ve known her a while and she’s said yes to a date, it’s unlikely that she’s agreed on a whim or that she’s going into it half-heartedly. She’s checking you out as serious potential mate material.
So how do you identify a sincere flirt? Well, she might show a lot of interest in your life, work and interests. She will ask questions and be attentive to answers.
She wants to make an emotional connection and will let you know that she’s interested (if she is). So expect her to be open, honest and straight down the line. Her flirting style might not be playful or full of sexy hints and innuendo, but it will be genuine. She won’t do anything purely for effect.
Happily, she may carry that emotional honesty into any ensuing relationship. So if you don’t mess her around, she won’t mess you around, either.
The playful flirt
She’s great fun to be around and her playful, sexy flirting style can send a young man’s imagination into overdrive. You may be very glad – at first – to have chanced upon the most playful female flirt in the bar.
But be warned, the playful flirt is the diametric opposite of her sincere counterpart. She may very well flirt with you or say yes to a date on a whim. She may laugh at your jokes and compliment your style without even considering you as boyfriend material. Her flirting might suggest otherwise, but you’d be wrong to think there’s any future to your encounter beyond the next 10 minutes.
The fact is, playful flirts enjoy flirting. It’s not a means to an end (be that sex, a romance or a relationship), it’s an end in itself. They find it a fun way to spend an evening, partly because of the boost it gives to their own self-esteem. She’ll love your obvious sexual interest, but perhaps not in the way you’d hope.
And any ensuing relationship? Frankly, it’s highly unlikely there’ll be one. If there is, it will probably be fleeting and shallow. Which is fine, of course, as long as you’re not expecting a whole lot more.
If the scientists are right, you really can gauge her wants and desires from the way she flirts. Pick up on the clues early and you could save yourself a lot of heartache, or stop your own flirting style from driving a potential long-term lover away.
Source: http://him.uk.msn.com/sex-and-dating/how-to-decode-her-flirting
Can men and women ever be just good friends?
In the enlightened 21st century you probably have a female friend or two. But can men and women really get past the sex thing?
Many men still think Harry (from When Harry Met Sally) had it right. Men and women can’t ever be true friends, because sex always gets in the way.
That piece of throwaway celluloid wisdom has almost become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Men and women can’t be friends because their red-blooded desire is bound to get the better of them sometime. And even if it doesn’t, bona fide romantic partners will come to view the friend as a potential rival, leaving one relationship or the other floundering on the rocks.
Many men still think Harry (from When Harry Met Sally) had it right. Men and women can’t ever be true friends, because sex always gets in the way.
That piece of throwaway celluloid wisdom has almost become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Men and women can’t be friends because their red-blooded desire is bound to get the better of them sometime. And even if it doesn’t, bona fide romantic partners will come to view the friend as a potential rival, leaving one relationship or the other floundering on the rocks.
You have to admit that it’s a shame. A female friend can give you things that your male friends just can’t, and we’re not talking about sex. Female friends can be an unrivalled source of comfort and feminine wisdom.
So with that in mind, we ask: can men and women ever really be friends? Here are the pros and cons.
The pros
There are very few male/female friendships portrayed in films and on TV, and those that are invariably lead to romance. The friendship is just a stage the characters have to get through before realising how very much in love (and lust) they are.
Friendships devoid of lust are possible
But that’s not necessarily true off-screen. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships looked at different kinds of friendships and found that a friendship bond between a man and woman devoid of lust was possible, and that was as true for men as women. A man could find a female friend attractive, but not always want to sleep with her.
Some experts also believe that the idea that men and women can’t be platonic friends – which originates long before When Harry Met Sally – should be consigned to the past.
In an era when men went out to work and women stayed at home, both genders only tended to mix romantically. These days, we comfortably mix at work, at home and in our recreational activities, so male/female friendships are a natural and welcome consequence.
All of which is great, because a female friend can be a boon for men. In fact, in one study men rated their friendships with women as some of the best they had.
That’s because female friends give men the chance to share their feelings and get advice on personal matters, things they don’t often do with male mates.
“Men might find it easier to open up to a female friend about emotional problems than they would to another man,” says Kate Taylor, relationship expert for Match.com. “Women might be more supportive and encouraging than men, and less likely to tease.”
Research by Kathy Werking, author of We’re Just Good Friends, showed that the most positive thing both men and women get out of platonic friendships is the chance to talk one-to-one. She found that many male/female friendships are highly mutually supportive. Both parties get a lot out of them.
Cons: One friend might start to want more
On the other hand, it’s certainly true that platonic friendships with women can be more testing than all male friendships, and that’s at least partly because of the possibility of unrequited sexual tension.
“It’s mainly that one of the friends will start to want more than the other,” says Taylor. “When this happens, things can get strained. There can be jealousy towards your friend’s dates, which is often displayed as moodiness, or unfair criticism towards the third party. If you feel that one of your platonic friends seems to dislike all your partners, it may be they secretly care about you romantically.”
Watching the friend you secretly fancy swan around with other men can be tough. In the study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 62% of the respondents admitted to sexual tension in their male/female friendships.
Mixed signals are always a danger
Women, in particular, disliked the fact that a supposedly platonic friend might misinterpret a supportive hug. Friends of different genders often have to walk a fine line between being playful, supporting and flirty, in the knowledge that physical contact, in particular, can be easily misconstrued.
They also have to put up with the nudge-nudge remarks of same-sex friends. If you’re friends with an attractive woman, expect a relentless examination of the relationship by mates in the pub. “You’re not really just friends are you?” won’t be the half of it.
Girlfriends and dates might get jealous
Finally, a close female friend will most probably attract the jealousy of dates and girlfriends.
“Partners can sometimes feel threatened by a close friendship you have with someone of the opposite sex,” says Taylor. “They might start questioning if it really is truly platonic.”
But she also suggests a solution. “If that happens, you can erase a lot of the doubt by introducing your partner to your friend. Let them see for themselves how distinctly unromantic you are together,” she adds.
The verdict: Male/female friendships are hard work, but worth it
So can men and women be friends? The answer is yes, of course, and as the genders mix more than ever, mixed gender friendships are becoming more common. But they take work, an acceptance of boundaries and the strength of mind to put up with the barracking of the boys in the pub. But they’re almost certainly worth it. As well as everything else, says Taylor, “female friends will give you great dating advice.”
Source : http://him.uk.msn.com/sex-and-dating/can-men-and-women-ever-be-just-good-friends
How to decipher her flirting signals
Even the savviest man can sometimes find it difficult to read whether a woman’s just being friendly or if she’s actually flirting with you. Signals of attraction aren’t always straightforward so here’s a rundown on 10 key signs to watch out for:
1. The eyes have it – When you spot her across a room you notice that she doesn’t just do 
a ‘double take’. She actually does a triple take, glancing at you three times to confirm her attraction to you. Keep an eye out for that third glance and you’ll know that she’s interested.
2. Wandering eyes – Things might’ve seemed to go well in the first few minutes of conversation but then you notice her eyes seemed to wander around the room. Whenever the door opens or closes she can’t help but glance in the direction. Unfortunately you’ve lost her interest.
3. Watch that fiddling – Yes, women often fiddle with their hair and that can signal flirtatious attraction but it can equally signal nerves. Take note if she starts to fiddle with her necklace while chatting to you. This is a key signal of attraction because she is subconsciously drawing your eye-line to her cleavage.
4. Not any old laugh – Not only does she laugh at your jokes but she throws her head back and seems lost in the moment. Wow, you’ve never felt so funny. When attracted to someone soon after meeting them it’s been found that a woman will magnify your sense of humour in her mind. So if she’s into you, she’s into your jokes too.
5. Time doesn’t matter – Anyone who knows what they’re doing on the dating scene will usually claim to have only a ‘little time’ as a man chats them up. This gives them a get-out clause if they decide they’re not attracted to you within a short time. So if suddenly she seems to have all the time in the world it’s an excellent sign.
6. Get closer – You notice that when she comes back from, eg, the ladies room that she pulls her chair closer to you. Not only has she touched up her make-up – so she’s feeling at her best – but she now wants to get up close and personal with you too.
7. In the pink – As you two chat she seems to flush/blush a bit – known as the “sex glow”. Unless she’s been drinking a lot – and this is the result of excess alcohol – it’s a physical sign that she’s feeling warm and cozy in your company.
8. Swaying is the way – Again, as long as she’s not been drinking excessively look out for her body swaying gently in time with your conversation. This will take the form of discreet little back and forth movements that show she’s mirroring your body language. Mirroring is a clear signal of attraction so relax – you might find you mirror her movements back.
9. It’s all about you – You notice her conversation doesn’t just to revolve around her life or general interest topics like hobbies but she asks direct questions about you. She seems keen to hear what you have to say, about what makes you tick, your likes and dislikes, etc. And that means she’s really taking an interest.
10. All important hesitation – As the evening draws to a close and you’re about to go your separate ways she seems to hesitate. There is a distinct ‘moment’ of pause where she doesn’t rush to get her coat or charge for the door. This is a clear signal she wants you to take her number or definitely give her a call if you already have it. If you’re interested in her then go for it.
Source: http://him.uk.msn.com/sex-and-dating/articles.aspx?cp-documentid=159645152
Surveys show gentlemen do not prefer blondes
A new study adds weight to the belief that British men prefer the ‘girl next door’ to platinum blonde pin-ups – unless they’re out on the town.
Research just released appears to disprove what women have long believed – that men prefer blondes. A study by the University of Westminster and recently reported by the Scandinavian Journal of Psychology suggests that men view brunettes as being more attractive and intelligent than blondes. Unless, of course, we’re out on the town.
Researchers sent a woman to three London nightclubs with her hair dyed either brunette, blond or red and observed the results. They then asked 130 men to rate pictures of her sporting all three looks. The result? She was chatted up most frequently when she had blond hair but rated higher for attractiveness and intelligence when she had the appearance of being brunette.
This appears to support the results of a survey conducted by Badoo in 2011, which revealed that British men prefer brunettes to blondes.
Badoo asked 2,000 British blokes to state the physical features they find most attractive in the opposite sex.
Contradicting the old adage that gentlemen prefer blondes, almost a third of the men polled (33.1%) said they find women with brown hair most attractive. Blondes (29.5%) edged out women with black hair (28.6%) for second place while redheads were preferred by a meagre 8.8% of the men surveyed.
For men in the UK, women with blue eyes still rule the roost with a massive 40.2% of guys preferring blue eyes over brown (29.2%), hazel (13.1%) and green (17.5%).
The survey also uncovered another slightly surprising result: 38.8% of the respondents said their perfect woman would have a dress size of 12-14. Only 10% of the guys surveyed cited sizes 6-8 as their preference, suggesting that, while skinny models fill the majority of pages in magazines, the man in the street is actually more attracted to women of average build.
After collating the results, Badoo applied their findings to the world of celebrity and, combining the physical features that scored the highest marks, deduced that Lauren Goodger, star of reality show The Only Way Is Essex, possesses all of the attributes that men in the UK said they find most attractive.
Her brown hair, blue eyes and average build give her the perfect combination for being the prototypical girl next door.
International preferences
Badoo also ran the study in France, Spain, Italy, US and Brazil with surprising results.
French men said they preferred their females skinny with all other nationalities saying they prefer average to curvy women. In all of the countries surveyed (apart from the UK), black was the most popular hair colour. The UK was also the only country that opted for blue eyes, with brown and green topping the table around the world.
Lloyd Price, from Badoo, said, “I was amazed that blond hair and size 8 did not top the list. Magazines are full of skinny blond models, so it is nice to see that in reality guys prefer the girl-next-door look. Mark Wright is clearly a lucky man in the eyes of the nation.”
Source: http://him.uk.msn.com/sex-and-dating/new-surveys-show-gentlemen-do-not-prefer-blondes
The character traits that women find attractive
Women are attracted to your personality as much as your body. But what, exactly, are they looking for?
We all know what women want in men, right? They want a muscular body (or was it a slender one?). They want long legs (or was it arms?). They want blonde hair (or was it black?).
OK, maybe we don’t know for certain, but what we can be sure of is that it’s not just about looks and physique. In fact, study after study has shown that, while women do value looks to some extent, they don’t prioritise them in the way men do.
Instead, women place a higher emphasis on personality, and the character traits that show you’re a good catch. And that’s true for short-term flings as well as long-term relationships. So here are the personality traits that women go for and how you can show them off.
Kindness
Think nice guys finish last? Think again.
A study published in the British Journal of Psychology found that women hunting for dates viewed kindness and generosity as a priority.
Over 300 volunteers were shown dating profiles, some of which had been adjusted to suggest that the subjects were altruistic. For example, some of the profiles included lines about helping others or volunteering.
Overwhelmingly, the women showed a preference for more altruistic men. “If a man is kind and generous towards others – even strangers – then there’s a good chance that he’d make a good and generous parent,” explained Dr Pat Barclay from University of Guelph, Canada, who conducted the study.
Confidence
It stands to reason that women are attracted to confident men. Confidence is a sign of success, or at least potential. Confident men can get a woman what she wants.
And a study published last year found that women are more sexually attracted to brooding, proud, confident-looking men than their jollier counterparts. In fact, they tended to find shiny happy blokes a bit of a turn-off.
It could be that male displays of pride – even if that’s only shown by facial expression – suggest confidence and status, and women are hardwired to look for high status men. Other studies have found that smiling can be associated with a lack of dominance, and subservient men are not likely to be high up the pecking order. So if you want to attract women, make sure you’re friendly, but don’t stand around grinning like a lunatic.
Humour
It’s not just a cliché: a good sense of humour really can help in the dating stakes.
A study by the University of Northumbria revealed that women who find men funny also consider them more intelligent and honest than their less amusing counterparts. Men who wrote the funniest descriptions of themselves for lonely heart ads were seen as brainier, more genuine and a better bet for a long-term relationship, according to the research.
“The findings provide evidence that women use humour as an indication of a guy’s intelligence,” said Kristofor McCarty, from Northumbria University, who led the study.
“Intelligence is a very attractive quality as a clever man should be more able to provide resources for his offspring.”
But put those cheesy chat-up lines away. The study also found that only genuinely funny men could laugh a lady into bed. Bad gags were given the thumbs down.
Self-delusion
OK, maybe self-delusion is the wrong term. Maybe we should say overblown self-confidence.
A study published in the journal Psychological Science found that ordinary looking men often ended up with attractive women because of sheer persistence and a mistaken belief in their own attractiveness.
The research, from the US, discovered that men could make up for their lack of physical beauty by trying their luck with an increased number of women. They may receive a lot of knock-backs, but they also have the occasional success.
Of course, this self-delusion isn’t an attractive trait in itself, but it does lead ordinary looking men to at least try to charm women with other traits, like their intelligence, wit and generosity. The only lesson to be taken is that, whatever you look like, don’t be put off by rejection. The harder you try, the luckier you’ll get.
Intelligence
If women prize humour as an indicator of intelligence, clearly intelligence must be a prized trait in men.
Other studies have confirmed that women are attracted to brains, regardless of humour. For example, when a team from Elon University in North Carolina showed female students videos of men performing athletic and mental tasks and asked them to pick favourites, the women tended to go for the most intelligent men.
In other words, it’s worth bigging up your academic achievements (subtly, of course – women don’t like boasting) on a first date or even on your internet dating profile, waxing lyrical about culture or society (without hogging the conversation) or maybe just arming yourself with a really good joke.
So there you have it. If you want to increase your chances of attracting the women – or woman – of your dreams, science suggests that kindness, confidence, humour and intelligence – along with perseverance – are the keys to success.
53 secrets girls don’t want guys to know
1. When we get whistled at in the street, we feel uncomfortable and we’ll always tut and roll our eyes. But we’re awesomely flattered and we’d be gutted if it stopped.
2. We will never grow out of our fascination with pop stars. A guy can be completely ordinary-looking, but we will fancy him if he’s in a band.
3. We are more likely to fancy a guy if his ex-girlfriends are really pretty.
4. We can be put off a guy by finding out that his ex-girlfriends are a bit ugly.
5. When we look through your Facebook photos, we’re looking to see how pretty or ugly your ex-girlfriends are.
6. We look through your Facebook photos a lot, and we really hope that you haven’t downloaded anything that reveals who looks at them the most.
7. Here’s how to make us fall for you. One day, come on to us so strong that we’re a bit weirded out by it. Then totally fail to ring us. We’ll wonder what we did wrong, and we won’t be able to stop thinking about you.
8. The above strategy isn’t foolproof. We may just lose interest. It depends on how much we liked you in the first place.
9. We often don’t know how much we liked you in the first place. We may have to wait until you don’t phone us. If we’re disappointed, it proves that we fancy you. If we’re not, it proves that we don’t. It’s like when you toss a coin to help you make a decision.
10. Stop trying to understand how our minds work. Even we don’t understand how our minds work.
11. We constantly change our minds and reserve the right to do so.
12. We love getting a missed call from you. It makes us feel in control.
13. The pleasure of noticing a missed call doesn’t last long. We never know how soon to ring back, and it does our heads in.
14. We are constantly scared of putting you off by seeming too keen.
15. We are constantly scared of putting you off by not seeming keen enough.
16. We will never discuss this with you because we are constantly scared of putting you off by bringing “us” up in conversation.
17. “I’m scared of being hurt” means “I don’t fancy you as much as I thought I did.” You know it, we know it, and that is all that will be said on the matter.
18. We say “we’re not manipulative” because we’re really good at being manipulative.
19. We only manipulate your feelings because you manipulated our feelings first.
20. Snoring costs you sex.
21. Your feet disgust us.
22. We shave our toes.
23. We’ve got a rogue hair that needs regular plucking.
24. We went through a phase of shaving our moustache.
25. We leave our legs unshaven on a first date so that we won’t end up in bed with you.
26. We wear big knickers on a first date so that we won’t end up in bed with you.
27. We spend entire first dates fancying the pants off you and worrying that we’ll end up in bed with you, all unshaven legs and big knickers.
28. We don’t actually care that much about the loo seat.
29. We suspect that you like our bodies more when we’re carrying a few extra pounds, but we always feel better about ourselves when we lose weight. However we hate that our boobs look deflated, and we’re disgusted by the injustice of it.
30. We envy you for being able to eat more than us and not get fat. By “envy” we mean “occasionally hate.”
31. If a grown-up woman has light blonde hair, she’s bleaching it*. You can tell that a woman is a natural blonde from her mousey eyebrows. (* OK, or she’s Scandinavian.)
32. We trim our nose-hair.
33. Yes we’ve got nice eyes, blah blah. Boring. We are desperate for you to compliment our skin and our necks.
34. We are even more desperate for you to write poems about us.
35. When we’re at a party we clock the sexy girls far quicker than we clock the sexy guys.
36. We find female strippers sexier than male strippers. But that doesn’t mean we want to snog any of them.
37. However we do wish we were gay sometimes, if only to get oral sex from someone who really knows what they’re doing.
38. Size does matter, fellas.
39. What you do with it matters even more.
40. What you do with your tongue matters most of all.
41. We’re really scared that you’ll feel our back zits.
42. During breakouts we get up at 6am and cover our spots with concealer while you’re sleeping.
43. We don’t want you to stay for breakfast. We want you to leave immediately so that you don’t have time to register how dog-rough we look in the morning.
44. We want you to text us from your journey home to say how you can’t stop smiling.
45. If you don’t text or call within 24 hours we’ll feel so unhappy that no amount of chocolate and wine can cheer us up. Though we’ll give it a try.
46. We’d happily sleep with your best mate to make you jealous.
47. We’re scared of commitment too.
48. If you’re not very well endowed, your girlfriend won’t tell her friends. She’s as embarrassed about it as you are. However if you dump her, she’ll tell everyone.
49. We fake orgasms so that you’ll stop and let us go to sleep.
50. We aren’t always sure when we’re faking it. In orgasms, the line between fact and fiction can be very thin.
51. We love falling asleep in your arms, for the first few weeks of a relationship anyway. To be honest we’d sleep a lot better if you weren’t there.
52. We find your dark-coloured bedsheets a total turn-off.
53. We’re all little girls inside. You make us cry far more easily than you realise.
Two Romantic Dreams in Two Nights
For the first time I have had ‘Two Romantic Dreams in Two Nights’. This is very strange because I have done nothing unusual to encourage those type of dreams. I can’t remember much now but I know the dream I had last night was romantic, involved cuddling, kissing, holding hands and staring into each others eyes. I don’t even have a girlfriend to encourage that sort of dream.
It was the same the night before it and I got up all happy and loving life even though I’m going through some bad times. I think I can pinpoint the cause of being positive, happy and confident for these few days. For a while I had been kind of alone because I had lost a best friend who was a girl and for me a girl-friend is very important. Girls who you are friends with are more understanding, sensitive and caring than guys. They also like shopping and having a meal occasionally and this is what I enjoy too so it’s important I have caring friend who is a girl.
Anyways that best friend found a guy in her life and forgot about the friend who was there for her when she was sad or happy. Recently I have connected with a friend very well and this was through a social network. Now we even have each others numbers and we text on a daily basis and make each other smile with some banter. Her positive attitude and much love and care for me has most likely changed my life. I’m more happy with life when I actually might have been depressed because of my current situation. This special friend has been very good to me and I appreciate her a lot and she is the only reason I can think of for having romantic dreams.
This does not mean I’ve fallen in love with her but it indicates that when someone cares about you so much and makes you smile it can change you mentally. Changes because of her has made me feel cared about and that is causing me to have these nice romantic dreams. I only wish I could remember who that girl was in the past two dreams.
Falling in Love Exposed
This post can help women understand that many men do have feelings and think about the women they like for long periods. There are men out there who take advantage of women who want to care and love them, men find them as easy targets because they fool them by displaying similar actions for a short period of time. Not all men are like that and there are some who stay committed to the person they love. The following list in no particular order is what women ask for in a loving man:
- Listen to her for hours and follow every word
- Share responsibility (bills, decoration, shopping & etc.)
- Talking before making a joint decision
- Look after her
- Show public affection
- Be considerate about her feelings at all times
- Don’t expect to be told what to do
- Buying her a gift
- Taking her out (restaurant, cinema, shopping & etc.)
- Bonding with her family
- Making her No.1 before anyone or anything
- Unconditional love
- Making her dinner sometimes
- Appreciating her personality
- Appreciating her looks (body, clothes & etc.)
- Taking control and having a sense of direction in life
- Financial stability for her offspring to have the best opportunities in life
- Letting her win the argument (fighting causes more problems)
- 100% commitment
- 100% trust (regular communication)
- Giving her some space and time to her own life (work, friends & family)
- Making her feel positive, confident and happy
- A mature relationship
- No regular arguments over the past
- Consistent sense of excitement (activities, intimacy & etc.)
- Both involved in activities around the house
- Maintaining a shared hobby (gym, shopping, books, dancing & etc.)
- Trying something new together
- Telling each other what they have done/how they feel on a day-to-day basis
- Any other I may have left! (you get my point though)
Ok. Since I’m being pretty general and theoretical here let’s get a bit more specific and talk about what every women dreams about: falling in love. Here’s how people fall in love: First, understand you do NOT fall in love with someone when you are in their presence. No. You fall in love when you’re off by yourself, thinking about them afterwards. This is why it is so hypnotically powerful, because you are doing it to yourself, and people are always best hypnotists.
Here’s how it happens: you go out with someone, maybe even one date. And then you go home, and you’re lying there, thinking about them. And, you form an image of them in your mind. And as you do that, you start to list to yourself all the qualities about them that you like, “She’s so, she’s so, she’s really.” Maybe then you picture you and them having lots of fun in all sorts of situations. Then you get that warm, funny feeling right in your solar plexus, and then, the nail in your coffin, you say her name to yourself 2 or 3 times. If you’re really a geek, maybe you even dance around the house like ‘Chandler’ from ‘FRIENDS’. Or you possible go about bringing up her name in every conversation with your friends.
Sound familiar? Now, as you recall the times in your past when you did this, were you then able to stay cool, in control of yourself AND the relationship? Or were you calling her every day, always wanting to see her, and sending her the signal of being clingy, to the point where she, of course, dumped you for a man who showed attributes of masculinity.
A man, in control, pulling her away from you. No, this does not mean all women want men like that. However women do like a man to be a man no matter what. She does not want to be the one who makes you feel better if you are in tears; she wants you to be the strong one and hug her when she is in tears and be a strong character in the relationship that is her rock. Overall this gives the relationship some stability and keeps the connection strong because you will be the one she comes to when there is a problem or when she needs to be loved. If you’re not like that then some women usually have a friend, a man, who is strong and her rock who she can go to. I want to clarify that this is not always the case and every relationship is unique. However many relationships are similar to what I have discussed in this paragraph.
Here’s the point: “Love” is a process people do to themselves! It’s not a “thing” you trip over or a “hole” you fall into. And I know, even though I’m not there watching you, that as I describe it here in this post, you recalled and went through that process yourself, and recalled the feelings associated with it. And if I can do it you, on a blog, when I’m not even there, then you can, if you know how, skilfully describe this (or any other) process to a women in your presence, link it to yourself, and in a matter of minutes, cause her to undergo that process and fall in love with you on the spot, dummy!
Think about this for a second instead of dismissing it as a process that won’t work. The dummy process you did to yourself can now be used to make her fawn all over you, repeatedly and predictably!
