Life going on as usual.
I can’t complain as I am happy with the commitment and dedication I put into any task, friend & family. However being single I can’t say the same for that but I would be committed and dedicated to a relationship too.
2009-2010 has the been two years that have been so bad with so many lows that at times I wanted to give up and not try with other people. Maybe it is me but I personally feel I could do with friends who are supportive and there for me, however I can not say that even now. Made many friends but nothing can be compared to having a best friend in Newcastle, people only look at status and money these days I think and if you not any benefit to them then you are of no value in this city.
Being happy is something I try achieve on a daily basis but it is such a struggle. Relationships have been terrible and I can not trust any girl even if they are just a friend as I have been used and dumped more times than a recycled newspaper. Some people have big problems being loyal and keeping to their words.
I have lost sight of totally who I am, sure I am aware of the skills and personality I have. The question is are those qualities any good and have any importance to anyone. If not then maybe that is why I keep trying to change who I am with expensive clothes. I try making different friends and always try to fit in with other groups or even society by following them and doing what they do but it still makes me feel every night at home as if I am an outsider and everyone has atleast someone to talk to.
I guess having a star sign of Pisces does not help as they have a good heart and like to always socialise but they always try to immitate others to fit in because their feelings are not understood or tried to be understood by others.
I hope 2011 is a good year but then I should be realistic and accept I have the brain and a good personality but I am always going to be alone because it’s who I have been all my life. Bad experiences in life and going through hardship has moulded me into the person I am today.
Hope I have not bored everyone!