I usually post something on my blog on a Tuesday that is related to business, technology or love. Today I will not be posting anything new on YouTube or on this blog except this update about me. I am not very well and it is nothing serious but from what the nurse at the RVI hospital said after my treatment it made me feel strong. The nurse stated “you are a very brave person to endure so much pain”, at that point I wished my friends would appreciate me for who I am. I have usually tried to fit in with the British culture and society by communicating with people and copying their activities but still I felt I was not accepted because of my colour, ethnic backgroud, culture and religion. Many do not know me well enough to ever know my secrets, few friends who I did trust left me alone and caused me to mistrust others. If they had known my secrets then I would have been seen as a really strong person who does not give up and faces every challenge in life ranging from illness to education.
As humans we only try to protect ourselves from harm and this may be another human being who can cause harm. When someone you share your secrets with abandons you and forgets you as a best friend then you start to be cautious and never trust anyone until they have earned it. My standard to trust a friend has been that:
- Someone is willing to take the time and make the effort to arrange a meeting. (Without me having to ask to meet)
- Someone who understands your feelings and shares their own feelings.
- Someone who is their for you as much as you are for them.
- Someone who will still be your friend when single or in a relationship.
- Someone who is not afraid to call you a friend or be seen with you.
- Someone who is not afraid to show their emotions for their friend. (Friendly hugs & etc)
Its very depressing that many friends can not be like that. For me personally I have always been the friend to arrange a meeting, listen and show my support. Personally I have no friend who is happy to arrange a meeting with me without me initiating it in a conversation. I am very certain I don’t have a friend in a big city like Newcastle who has tried to understand my pain and be a good friend to make me happy. Many of the friends I know are too busy with their own lives, example boyfriends/girlfriends or just general stuff which they state takes up a lot of their time for me but are able to find time for other people.
What more can I say?
Thank you for reading this blog post. Look out for a blog post soon to be published called ‘Modern Friends’.