Why men are becoming more attractive?


You may be getting more handsome and even smarter. But don’t take my word for it – it’s science!

Young woman looking at young man (© Tim Robberts-The Image Bank-Getty Images)

Can we just say how fine you’re looking today? Somehow you look taller, a little more muscular, a bit smoother.

And you’re on good form with the chat, too. If we’re not very much mistaken, you’re as witty and sharp as you’ve ever been. We’re guessing that if you decided to chat up a girl in the bar tonight she’d be putty in your hands.

You may think we’ve gone mad – and you may well be right. But that’s not the reason for this outpouring of obsequiousness. If you’re a man, you’ve probably never looked or sounded better. Here’s why.

Woman caressing man's chin (© PhotoAlto-James Hardy-PhotoAlto Agency RF-Getty Images)

Partly, it’s evolution

But that’s not the whole story. The fact is, we’re all getting a tiny bit more attractive to women, whether we spend money at the beauty salon or not.

And that’s down to evolution. When we think of evolution, we tend to think of something that happened long ago, to our cave-dwelling, thick-browed ancestors. Not so, says Dr Virpi Lummaa, from the University of Sheffield‘s department of animal and plant sciences.

“It is a common misunderstanding that evolution took place a long time ago, and that to understand ourselves we must look back to the hunter-gatherer days of humans. Humans continue to be affected by both natural and sexual selection.”

So what’s that got to do with your pulling chances tonight? Well, according to Dr Lummaa’s research, it means that human traits are still evolving to increase their chances of mating success. And this is happening faster in men than in women.

Man hiking atop Tork Mountain with Upper Lake and Black Valley in the distance. (© David Epperson-Photodisc-Getty Images)

Dr Lummaa’s study looked at detailed church records of almost 6,000 Finns born between 1760 and 1849, and analysed their mating success and fertility. It found that sexual selection is still happening in human populations.

Co-author Dr Alexandre Courtiol, from the Wissenschaftskolleg Institute for Advanced Study in Berlin, said: “Characteristics increasing the mating success of men are likely to evolve faster than those increasing the mating success of women.

“This is because mating with more partners was shown to increase reproductive success more in men than in women.”

And what characteristics increase the chances of mating for men? The research speculates that men may be getting better looking (from a female point of view) and more intelligent even. Because if sexual selection is still taking place in humans, and these are traits women find desirable in men, men will slowly adapt to fit the ideal.

Women will evolve to fit male ideals too, but at a much slower pace because they don’t have an evolutionary need to mate with multiple partners.

Evolution may have equipped men to be more intelligent than women anyway. If there are any women reading, don’t shoot the messenger. Psychologist Professor Richard Lynn has written that, on average, adult men score five IQ points higher than women.

He claims that this is evolution at work. When our ancient forefathers hunted for food it took all their cognitive powers to bring home the bacon (or venison) day after day. That resulted in men evolving proportionately bigger brains than women.

Relaxedw man in open-top car (© Westend61-Getty Images)

Partly, it’s progress

Evolution is a very slow process, however. Scientific and technical advances are also working to make men more attractive to women.

For example, it’s largely improvements in childhood nutrition that have made both genders, but men in particular, taller then ever. Studies show that height is a physical trait women appreciate. Good childhood nutrition has also been linked to higher IQs.

The upshot of all this is that men fit female ideas of attractiveness better than at any time in human history. Our faces may be, on average, more symmetrical and more appealing, our bodies taller and our brains sharper. Add to that the time and money we’re spending on self-improvement and there’s only one possible conclusion: boy, you’re looking fine!

 

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How to decode her flirting


Experts believe the way she flirts is a clue to her personality. But what is her flirting style telling you?

You might have just met her at a bar, or you may have known her for years. Whichever it is, you’re pretty certain you’ve noticed a flicker of sexual or romantic interest.

But what, exactly, has she done to give you that impression? It’s an important question because, according to research, her flirting style can give you a major clue about what to expect in the next few hours, days or weeks – and even what you can expect in a long term relationship (if it gets that far).

In fact, one recent study from the University of Kansas in the US identified five flirting styles and even suggested the types of relationships those styles might lead to. So here’s what her flirting might be telling you.

The physical flirt

She may ostentatiously look you up and down. She may punctuate her conversation with a playful hand on your arm or an obvious flick of her abundant blond locks. According to the psychologists at Kansas University, she’s a physical flirt, and her body language speaks volumes.

What it probably doesn’t say, however, is that you have bagged yourself a guaranteed one-night stand. You haven’t. Physical flirts might be happy to show their sexual interest, but that doesn’t mean they’re promiscuous.

She may well fall for your charms, though. According to the research, physical flirts fall head over heels quite easily, and quickly develop an emotional and – when the time comes – sexual connection.

And don’t be blinded by prejudice. Physical flirts can make for good relationships, even in the long term. Two of the key ingredients of a lasting relationship are sexual chemistry and a strong emotional bond, and physical flirts tend to develop both in abundance.

The traditional flirt

If you think you’ve seen a flicker of interest from a traditional flirt, it’s probably only a flicker. If you’re getting anywhere at all it might be because you’ve known her a long time and you’ve done all the pursuing.

In other words, the traditional flirt believes men should do the asking and women should wait to be asked. If you try other flirting techniques on her – particularly the physical kind – you’re likely to put her off. If she flirts at all it will probably be subconsciously and you’ll have to be aware of some very subtle clues, from a very brief glance in your direction to the shy, nervous fidgeting that can at least indicate interest.

How will a relationship play out? Well, you won’t have to worry about her flirting with other men. Aside from that, she’ll value the security you offer and may well be quite introverted, preferring a cosy night in with you to raucous parties or nightclubs.

The polite flirt

The polite flirt knows the rules. You’re more likely to have to approach her and you’re unlikely to feel the spark of sexual chemistry if you do. It might be there, but she’ll be careful not to let it show.

She probably won’t be cold or standoffish, mind, particularly if she likes you. She’ll engage in lively conversation. She’ll laugh at your jokes. She may swap numbers or email addresses at the end of the night.

But her flirting is likely to be non-sexual in the first instance, and she may seem a little reserved. Her manners will be impeccable but telling her that her eyes sparkle like the brightest stars in the firmament is unlikely to do you any favours. She doesn’t flirt ostentatiously and she’s not flattered by the ostentatious flirting of others.

The good news is that, according to the Kansas research, polite flirters “do tend to have meaningful relationships”. She might be hard work at the outset, but she may well be a loving and loyal partner.

The sincere flirt

There’s no game-playing with the sincere flirt, and no danger that her interest in you will only be sustained until you stop buying the drinks. If you’ve known her a while and she’s said yes to a date, it’s unlikely that she’s agreed on a whim or that she’s going into it half-heartedly. She’s checking you out as serious potential mate material.

So how do you identify a sincere flirt? Well, she might show a lot of interest in your life, work and interests. She will ask questions and be attentive to answers.

She wants to make an emotional connection and will let you know that she’s interested (if she is). So expect her to be open, honest and straight down the line. Her flirting style might not be playful or full of sexy hints and innuendo, but it will be genuine. She won’t do anything purely for effect.

Happily, she may carry that emotional honesty into any ensuing relationship. So if you don’t mess her around, she won’t mess you around, either.

The playful flirt

She’s great fun to be around and her playful, sexy flirting style can send a young man’s imagination into overdrive. You may be very glad – at first – to have chanced upon the most playful female flirt in the bar.

But be warned, the playful flirt is the diametric opposite of her sincere counterpart. She may very well flirt with you or say yes to a date on a whim. She may laugh at your jokes and compliment your style without even considering you as boyfriend material. Her flirting might suggest otherwise, but you’d be wrong to think there’s any future to your encounter beyond the next 10 minutes.

The fact is, playful flirts enjoy flirting. It’s not a means to an end (be that sex, a romance or a relationship), it’s an end in itself. They find it a fun way to spend an evening, partly because of the boost it gives to their own self-esteem. She’ll love your obvious sexual interest, but perhaps not in the way you’d hope.

And any ensuing relationship? Frankly, it’s highly unlikely there’ll be one. If there is, it will probably be fleeting and shallow. Which is fine, of course, as long as you’re not expecting a whole lot more.

If the scientists are right, you really can gauge her wants and desires from the way she flirts. Pick up on the clues early and you could save yourself a lot of heartache, or stop your own flirting style from driving a potential long-term lover away.

Source: http://him.uk.msn.com/sex-and-dating/how-to-decode-her-flirting

53 secrets girls don’t want guys to know


1. When we get whistled at in the street, we feel uncomfortable and we’ll always tut and roll our eyes. But we’re awesomely flattered and we’d be gutted if it stopped.

2. We will never grow out of our fascination with pop stars. A guy can be completely ordinary-looking, but we will fancy him if he’s in a band.

3. We are more likely to fancy a guy if his ex-girlfriends are really pretty.

4. We can be put off a guy by finding out that his ex-girlfriends are a bit ugly.

5. When we look through your Facebook photos, we’re looking to see how pretty or ugly your ex-girlfriends are.

6. We look through your Facebook photos a lot, and we really hope that you haven’t downloaded anything that reveals who looks at them the most.

7. Here’s how to make us fall for you. One day, come on to us so strong that we’re a bit weirded out by it. Then totally fail to ring us. We’ll wonder what we did wrong, and we won’t be able to stop thinking about you.

8. The above strategy isn’t foolproof. We may just lose interest. It depends on how much we liked you in the first place.

9. We often don’t know how much we liked you in the first place. We may have to wait until you don’t phone us. If we’re disappointed, it proves that we fancy you. If we’re not, it proves that we don’t. It’s like when you toss a coin to help you make a decision.

10. Stop trying to understand how our minds work. Even we don’t understand how our minds work.

11. We constantly change our minds and reserve the right to do so.

12. We love getting a missed call from you. It makes us feel in control.

13. The pleasure of noticing a missed call doesn’t last long. We never know how soon to ring back, and it does our heads in.

14. We are constantly scared of putting you off by seeming too keen.

15. We are constantly scared of putting you off by not seeming keen enough.

16. We will never discuss this with you because we are constantly scared of putting you off by bringing “us” up in conversation.

17. “I’m scared of being hurt” means “I don’t fancy you as much as I thought I did.” You know it, we know it, and that is all that will be said on the matter.

18. We say “we’re not manipulative” because we’re really good at being manipulative.

19. We only manipulate your feelings because you manipulated our feelings first.

20. Snoring costs you sex.

21. Your feet disgust us.

22. We shave our toes.

23. We’ve got a rogue hair that needs regular plucking.

24. We went through a phase of shaving our moustache.

25. We leave our legs unshaven on a first date so that we won’t end up in bed with you.

26. We wear big knickers on a first date so that we won’t end up in bed with you.

27. We spend entire first dates fancying the pants off you and worrying that we’ll end up in bed with you, all unshaven legs and big knickers.

28. We don’t actually care that much about the loo seat.

29. We suspect that you like our bodies more when we’re carrying a few extra pounds, but we always feel better about ourselves when we lose weight. However we hate that our boobs look deflated, and we’re disgusted by the injustice of it.

30. We envy you for being able to eat more than us and not get fat. By “envy” we mean “occasionally hate.”

31. If a grown-up woman has light blonde hair, she’s bleaching it*. You can tell that a woman is a natural blonde from her mousey eyebrows. (* OK, or she’s Scandinavian.)

32. We trim our nose-hair.

33. Yes we’ve got nice eyes, blah blah. Boring. We are desperate for you to compliment our skin and our necks.

34. We are even more desperate for you to write poems about us.

35. When we’re at a party we clock the sexy girls far quicker than we clock the sexy guys.

36. We find female strippers sexier than male strippers. But that doesn’t mean we want to snog any of them.

37. However we do wish we were gay sometimes, if only to get oral sex from someone who really knows what they’re doing.

38. Size does matter, fellas.

39. What you do with it matters even more.

40. What you do with your tongue matters most of all.

41. We’re really scared that you’ll feel our back zits.

42. During breakouts we get up at 6am and cover our spots with concealer while you’re sleeping.

43. We don’t want you to stay for breakfast. We want you to leave immediately so that you don’t have time to register how dog-rough we look in the morning.

44. We want you to text us from your journey home to say how you can’t stop smiling.

45. If you don’t text or call within 24 hours we’ll feel so unhappy that no amount of chocolate and wine can cheer us up. Though we’ll give it a try.

46. We’d happily sleep with your best mate to make you jealous.

47. We’re scared of commitment too.

48. If you’re not very well endowed, your girlfriend won’t tell her friends. She’s as embarrassed about it as you are. However if you dump her, she’ll tell everyone.

49. We fake orgasms so that you’ll stop and let us go to sleep.

50. We aren’t always sure when we’re faking it. In orgasms, the line between fact and fiction can be very thin.

51. We love falling asleep in your arms, for the first few weeks of a relationship anyway. To be honest we’d sleep a lot better if you weren’t there.

52. We find your dark-coloured bedsheets a total turn-off.

53. We’re all little girls inside. You make us cry far more easily than you realise.

Source: http://dating.uk.msn.com/edito/index.php?mtcmk=080519&name=5/114/574-53-secrets-girls-don-t-want-guys-to-know.html

A Bad Day


Friends

Image via Wikipedia

I usually post something on my blog on a Tuesday that is related to business, technology or love. Today I will not be posting anything new on YouTube or on this blog except this update about me. I am not very well and it is nothing serious but from what the nurse at the RVI hospital said after my treatment it made me feel strong. The nurse stated “you are a very brave person to endure so much pain”, at that point I wished my friends would appreciate me for who I am. I have usually tried to fit in with the British culture and society by communicating with people and copying their activities but still I felt I was not accepted because of my colour, ethnic backgroud, culture and religion. Many do not know me well enough to ever know my secrets, few friends who I did trust left me alone and caused me to mistrust others. If they had known my secrets then I would have been seen as a really strong person who does not give up and faces every challenge in life ranging from illness to education.

As humans we only try to protect ourselves from harm and this may be another human being who can cause harm. When someone you share your secrets with abandons you and forgets you as a best friend then you start to be cautious and never trust anyone until they have earned it. My standard to trust a friend has been that:

  • Someone is willing to take the time and make the effort to arrange a meeting. (Without me having to ask to meet)
  • Someone who understands your feelings and shares their own feelings.
  • Someone who is their for you as much as you are for them.
  • Someone who will still be your friend when single or in a relationship.
  • Someone who is not afraid to call you a friend or be seen with you.
  • Someone who is not afraid to show their emotions for their friend. (Friendly hugs & etc)

Its very depressing that many friends can not be like that. For me personally I have always been the friend to arrange a meeting, listen and show my support. Personally I have no friend who is happy to arrange a meeting with me without me initiating it in a conversation. I am very certain I don’t have a friend in a big city like Newcastle who has tried to understand my pain and be a good friend to make me happy. Many of the friends I know are too busy with their own lives, example boyfriends/girlfriends or just general stuff which they state takes up a lot of their time for me but are able to find time for other people.

What more can I say?

Thank you for reading this blog post. Look out for a blog post soon to be published called Modern Friends’.

Falling in Love Exposed


This post can help women understand that many men do have feelings and think about the women they like for long periods. There are men out there who take advantage of women who want to care and love them, men find them as easy targets because they fool them by displaying similar actions for a short period of time. Not all men are like that and there are some who stay committed to the person they love. The following list in no particular order is what women ask for in a loving man:

  • Listen to her for hours and follow every word
  • Share responsibility (bills, decoration, shopping & etc.)
  • Talking before making a joint decision
  • Look after her
  • Show public affection
  • Be considerate about her feelings at all times
  • Don’t expect to be told what to do
  • Buying her a gift
  • Taking her out (restaurant, cinema, shopping & etc.)
  • Bonding with her family
  • Making her No.1 before anyone or anything
  • Unconditional love
  • Making her dinner sometimes
  • Appreciating her personality
  • Appreciating her looks (body, clothes & etc.)
  • Taking control and having a sense of direction in life
  • Financial stability for her offspring to have the best opportunities in life
  • Letting her win the argument (fighting causes more problems)
  • 100% commitment
  • 100% trust (regular communication)
  • Giving her some space and time to her own life (work, friends & family)
  • Making her feel positive, confident and happy
  • A mature relationship
  • No regular arguments over the past
  • Consistent sense of excitement (activities, intimacy & etc.)
  • Both involved in activities around the house
  • Maintaining a shared hobby (gym, shopping, books, dancing & etc.)
  • Trying something new together
  • Telling each other what they have done/how they feel on a day-to-day basis
  • Any other I may have left! (you get my point though)

Ok. Since I’m being pretty general and theoretical here let’s get a bit more specific and talk about what every women dreams about: falling in love. Here’s how people fall in love: First, understand you do NOT fall in love with someone when you are in their presence. No. You fall in love when you’re off by yourself, thinking about them afterwards. This is why it is so hypnotically powerful, because you are doing it to yourself, and people are always best hypnotists.

Here’s how it happens: you go out with someone, maybe even one date. And then you go home, and you’re lying there, thinking about them. And, you form an image of them in your mind. And as you do that, you start to list to yourself all the qualities about them that you like, “She’s so, she’s so, she’s really.” Maybe then you picture you and them having lots of fun in all sorts of situations. Then you get that warm, funny feeling right in your solar plexus, and then, the nail in your coffin, you say her name to yourself 2 or 3 times. If you’re really a geek, maybe you even dance around the house like ‘Chandler’ from ‘FRIENDS’. Or you possible go about bringing up her name in every conversation with your friends.

Sound familiar? Now, as you recall the times in your past when you did this, were you then able to stay cool, in control of yourself AND the relationship? Or were you calling her every day, always wanting to see her, and sending her the signal of being clingy, to the point where she, of course, dumped you for a man who showed attributes of masculinity.

A man, in control, pulling her away from you. No, this does not mean all women want men like that. However women do like a man to be a man no matter what. She does not want to be the one who makes you feel better if you are in tears; she wants you to be the strong one and hug her when she is in tears and be a strong character in the relationship that is her rock. Overall this gives the relationship some stability and keeps the connection strong because you will be the one she comes to when there is a problem or when she needs to be loved. If you’re not like that then some women usually have a friend, a man, who is strong and her rock who she can go to. I want to clarify that this is not always the case and every relationship is unique. However many relationships are similar to what I have discussed in this paragraph.

Here’s the point: “Love” is a process people do to themselves! It’s not a “thing” you trip over or a “hole” you fall into. And I know, even though I’m not there watching you, that as I describe it here in this post, you recalled and went through that process yourself, and recalled the feelings associated with it. And if I can do it you, on a blog, when I’m not even there, then you can, if you know how, skilfully describe this (or any other) process to a women in your presence, link it to yourself, and in a matter of minutes, cause her to undergo that process and fall in love with you on the spot, dummy!

Think about this for a second instead of dismissing it as a process that won’t work. The dummy process you did to yourself can now be used to make her fawn all over you, repeatedly and predictably!