1. We Need Help
As men we believe we can achieve anything if given the time and opportunities. Many of us don’t like to admit defeat and ask for help, instead we will keep trying just to prove to another man or women that we are useful. We don’t like to admit defeat because it will make us look weak compared to other men and we don’t want to lose our self respect in front of a women.
I do agree that this sounds very old and crazy but this is in our human nature and we like to be seen as the strong reliable type of men for the ladies around us.
2. We Were Wrong
Admitting that we were wrong triggers an instant thought in our minds saying “Others won’t rely on you” or “You are indecisive and don’t know what you are doing”. This makes us try to make the wrong into right and this is usually the cause of arguments in a relationship. However admitting as a man you were wrong doesn’t make you weak but in fact helps you reflect on the mistakes and make improvements.
3. We Can’t Survive Without A Women
Men simply won’t easily admit to his fellow lady that he can’t survive without her because it is our human instinct that tells us to protect and care for the lady. We don’t want to be seen as the one who needs protecting from a women or can’t survive without her because women want their man to support her needs and protect her and any children she has with you.
4. We Like All Women
Believe it or not but men have it in their human instinct to like more than one women. Yes some do cheat but not all men are the same. Many men will be loyal and committed to one women but he will still like any other women in general because it’s integrated into our human nature to pass on our genes successfully. Women want to be cared about and have a man who loves only her and will not abandon her and the children.
Like I said not all men are the same and we do like to be loyal and committed but we do like any other attractive women in general. Why we might like any other women? Because we want our genes to mix with someone who has good genes. This does not mean that the women we are currently with is unattractive.
5. We Like To Pose
Yes we also like to pose. It was decades ago when men who posed were perceived to be gay or weak. In the present men who can pose however they want without any limitations shows great ability and confidence. It is usually hard for some who might feel insecure or lack some self-esteem.
However men who like to try various poses and feel sexy doing it are thought to be very confident, happy, energetic, ambitious, driven, enthusiastic and creative. Otherwise think about it why would they do a certain pose?
When a man or women poses you can see the confidence and the satisfaction they are feeling from their body language. Many who are not afraid to be creative will try anything different and fresh. This helps improve someone’s confidence and makes them feel very happy. From personal experience I feel very happy when posing and feel even more happy when I see the photos on a laptop or mobile screen.
It makes you feel happy, confident, ambitious and etc if you view yourself in a positive manner because many look at their own photos in a negative manner. People who are in a negative mood before looking at their own photo will find many negative points about their own image while a positive mood helps see the positive points.
Is it the manly thing to do, or should we sit back, put our wallets away and let the women do the wooing?
Back when your dad dated your mum, and certainly back when your granddad dated your grandma, it was the men who made all the moves.
They asked for a date, chose the venue and paid the bill. In romantic terms, men led and women followed. A lot of the time, that set the tone for the rest of the relationship.
But is that still true today? With sexual equality on the agenda, is asking for and then paying for dates chivalrous and romantic or patronising and needy?
Here are the arguments for and against – feel free to add your own at the bottom of the page and take part in our poll.
Have men always paid for dates?
The evolutionary perspective on all this is that men may have always – in a manner of speaking – paid for dates.
That’s because, in the dark and distant past, women and their helpless, vulnerable children had a far better chance of survival if a man was around to protect them from predators and bring them food.
If you’re wondering what connection that has to you paying for dinner on your local high street, it’s this: women, particularly when they are young, pretty and fertile, have always wanted to know that men have the resources to ensure their future family’s best chance of survival. In other societies or at other times that might have meant gifts of food, money or animals, directly to the woman or to her family. More recently, in the western world, it’s translated into securing the best table at a fancy restaurant.
According to Dr Douglas Kenrick, professor of social psychology at Arizona State University, “before agreeing to bear and nurse any offspring, then, women, and their kin, often demand evidence that a potential suitor is willing, and able, to provide resources.”
What about dating today?
The fact is, some of that might linger even in these more sexually equal times. And there’s something more besides. Sex is a more complicated proposition for women than it is for men, because sex doesn’t leave men with the potential of a nine-month pregnancy and years of childcare (our basic instincts don’t tend to take birth control into consideration).
That means female company is more valuable to men than male company is to women. Hence, men often still ask, and pay for, romantic dates.
Dr Kenrick showed the difference in our relative romantic value by asking his students how much they’d pay for a one-night stand, if they lived in a society where paying for a date in this way was considered perfectly acceptable. The male students would have happily paid seven times the sum that the female students were willing to pay.
Suddenly, it becomes obvious why men still tend to ask and pay, long after the threats that faced our ancestors have disappeared. In general, female company is still prized more than male company.
Most men still pay
And it’s true that, even away from a psychologist’s classroom, the idea that men should pay for dates seems hardwired into our notions of romance.
A couple of years ago website Top Table found that 85% of men sneakily pick up the bill for dinner dates while their dates aren’t looking. Another study found that 81% of European men expected to pay for all the drinks on a first date.
In fact, even when a relationship is more established men are expected to pay more. A study conducted by moneysupermarket.com in 2009 found that men spent £48 on their wives or girlfriends on Valentine’s Day, and received, on average, just £22 worth of gifts in return.
And the expectation to be wined and dined without flashing their own cash is even more marked among pretty women, according to a study by researchers at St Andrews University published last year.
It found that, the more attractive a woman rated herself, the more likely it was that she’d expect her date to pick up the tab. “When the woman lets the man pay for her, she is basically saying she’d like a second date,” the researchers said.
In other words, a pretty woman might signal her interest by keeping her purse firmly out of sight.
But should men be expected to pay?
In the early part of a relationship many men do signal their interest – and advertise their resources – by asking for dates and paying for them. But should they?
After all, these days young women often earn as much as, or more than, young men. And the quest for equality means that many men are now confused about the right thing to do. Could an offer to pay be seen as patronising and patriarchal? Could it even be seen as needy and desperate?
Unfortunately, there are no hard and fast rules. Clearly, many women would prefer to ‘go Dutch’ and insist on doing so. Others, as we’ve seen, may expect to be paid for on the first few dates of a relationship.
Some psychologists argue that the tone of a relationship can be set in these first few weeks. If a man does the asking, arranging and paying, he is advertising his status and leadership potential. If the woman readily accepts, she’s buying into his power display. The result may be a traditional relationship where the man tends to take most of the important decisions and the woman plays a more supporting role.
But if the woman initiates some of the early dates, and the couple goes Dutch when the bill arrives, it might set the relationship on a more equal footing. That doesn’t necessarily make it a better relationship – it depends what each party wants – but the woman is clearly signalling that she won’t be a passive partner.
A simple rule
If all that’s a bit much to analyse on a first date, and you want a simple rule to follow when the bill arrives, then the compilers of etiquette guide Debrett’s may have it: the party that request the pleasure, pays for the pleasure.
If you ask her out, you pay, and if she asks you, she pays. Of course, men still initiate most first dates, but women are increasingly confident about asking for a second or third. And if that’s the case, at least you can enjoy the early weeks of a relationship without falling foul of your bank manager.
In a revealing MSN poll of nearly 6,000 men, the majority of men’s reported likes and dislikes weren’t about looks.
Attraction is about many things
When it comes to feeling attracted you might think how she looks is at the forefront of men’s minds but it doesn’t seem to be the case. For instance, men aren’t particularly worried about her being stylish with only 1% being put off by a bad dress sense.
Relationship expert Jo Hemmings comments: “Initially, men notice what makes a woman sexy like her smile, figure, style and hair. Crucially, when he gets talking to her these elements meld together along with sense of humour, kindness and general approach to life, which make her sexier still.”
Things like personal hygiene play a big part
It might seem surprising that as many as 45% of men report body odour and/or bad breath as a key turnoff but psychotherapist Phillip Hodson agrees. “In my youth I’ve said no to women who don’t wash once in 24 hours and ones who never stop talking,” said Hodson. “Men are consistently repelled by cheating, disloyalty – and definitely hygiene problems.”
Preferences change with age
Similar to research showing that women’s tastes change with age – younger ones frequently falling for ‘players’ but with maturity wanting more – so the same seems to be true of men.
Fabulous magazine’s relationship expert Stuart Hood said: “What attracts or puts someone off often depends on how old the man is. Teenage guys are shallow and it’s all about looks, looks, looks, whereas into their 20s men will be looking more at personality as well as attractiveness.”
Confidence plays a part in attraction
We assume men are confident and this confidence makes them overly choosy about things like looks. But confidence coach Jeremy Milnes isn’t surprised by the survey results suggesting men aren’t so shallow. “I think men are far more complex and far less confident than people think,” said Milnes. “Yes, some overly confident and arrogant men might go for top notch looks but otherwise that’s not necessarily the case.”
With women, confidence can be an asset, adds Hood. “No one wants to be with someone who doesn’t like anyone, including her friends or importantly herself – confidence is very attractive. There will be other things that put men off, including not being faithful, and desperation as well as a lack of confidence. ”
So why is there less concern than expected with physical attractiveness?
Image © MSN
Hodson notes that much of attraction is to do with the survival instinct. “It’s natural and part of survival to avoid obviously toxic entanglements.”
“That’s why we still exist here in 2012! Yes, men like sex, and easy sex at that, but ultimately we aren’t daft when it comes to relationship choices.”
In my own work I find largely men want commitment and have the emotional intelligence to know that the relationships likely to stand the test of time are those based on more than looks and hot sex. Lots of experimentation might happen along the way with different types of relationships from one-night stands to shorter flings, but when they get into commitment-mode it’s more about personal qualities.
Tackling issues that potentially turn you off
If you like a woman but there is a stumbling block to things becoming more serious it’s not hard to turn things around. These stumbling blocks range from things like 10% of men being put off by excessive make-up to 12% by a woman flirting too much with his friends.
Hodson recommends a positive approach when tackling such issues. “If the relationship counts then always work with better ‘carrots’ to change any negative issue.
“For instance, stress how much you love it when she remembers to be tactful in front of your friends rather than, say, flirting with them.”
I recommend starting a conversation about a negative turnoff with something positive first. So if you hate the fact she heaps on makeup let her know how gorgeous she looks in the morning before she applies it. Genuine compliments about how little she needs will get the message across. Then you’re not going to be sitting opposite circus-clown levels of makeup shovelled on.
Do women get second chances when initially a man’s not attracted?
Milnes says that second chances are a possibility if at first the man’s been put off by a particular trait. “It depends on whether he is going to meet the woman often enough – like through work – to get to know her personality. If he is, then feelings could well develop. If he isn’t, then, I’m sorry, that door is closed.”
For a woman’s part it might seem fairly black and white when it comes to a man finding her attractive. She may fear that door closes very quickly over a single attribute he doesn’t fancy. However, this doesn’t seem to be the case and men thankfully are willing to look beyond surface qualities especially if they’re looking for real love.
I was like other nights just browsing the Twitter timeline and tweeting (starting conversations) people who I follow and follow me back. Most of my tweets which I’ll list below are usually kind, caring and friendly. I am never unfriendly when I start a conversation but when someone turns horrible then it may change but not in the beginning especially after many attempts of being calm and nice.
For example these are some of my friendly tweets:
I can’t display the horrible things that girl said after my tweet to me and her friends because she has protected her account now. I tweeted a reply to a tweet of hers about ‘picturing’ someones ‘hair’ or something with “lol and I can picture your hair from the profile photo”.
My intentions were to have a laugh and just receive a tweet joking back or something because I usually banter with most of my friends from Newcastle in calm and funny manner. But guess what I was judged and tried without even getting to know me and who I am. I always believe that being nice is the best way to travel through life and be happy but many people don’t like that concept moreover many are self centered and have the attitude of “FUCK THE REST“.
I only got angry when this person tweeted some bad things about me to some other people she knew on Twitter. Yes after her first hurtful tweet I did post the following tweets to her:
As you can see I was not as rude as many would get in a situation like this and tried talking it out. I would have wanted to show her tweets so that you the reader had the chance to compare and see how some people can just be selfish and horrible.
Yes below is the girl I am talking about and you can see she is careless and got the “FUCK EVERYONE” attitude but when looks fade so will the attitude.
Reason why I have blogged about this is because I want to raise awareness of how hard it is for good guys in this city to meet any decent girl from Newcastle. A girl who can be nice, loyal, mature and caring. There are actually them girls in this city and I am friends with most of them but there are a few bad apples and that is actually the same situation everywhere in the World. But I would want to point out that most guys like myself just can’t trust girls in Newcastle anymore because they be nice for a few minutes and then they change even if you are in a relationship or just friendship.
I would want to be proven wrong by a girl who can be a long term good friend without any motive to gain something from a guy like me. Most good guys who are nice don’t be considered by these ‘PARTY’ girls in todays culture but when they hit the age of 35-40 their youth and looks are gone. They are all alone because the bad boys or which ever they preferred don’t want them and want only young women. That is when then they can’t find any good guys because they be taken by girls who don’t waste their youth on players. Same goes story goes for guys who you find middle aged and alone at some bar/club with no wife and kids.