Time With Bollywood


I am spending most of my free-time watching Bollywood movies related to romance or listening to music in that genre. I guess this is what love really is when you can be happy and open about your love with family and everyone else.

Never felt this way before and I feel very lucky to be experiencing these type of feelings. After getting married I am liking the Bollywood songs because I am in love now. Before I did not enjoy anything to do with the Bollywood romance genre because it made me feel lonely. Watching Bollywood songs and movies makes me look forward to my future and feel excited about it.

Just love the songs from the Bodyguard movie and many others.
Really can not wait for the day when she finally arrives and is in my arms forever. What else more does a guy want if he has a wife who loves him unconditionally.

Should men always ask and pay for dates?


Is it the manly thing to do, or should we sit back, put our wallets away and let the women do the wooing?

Back when your dad dated your mum, and certainly back when your granddad dated your grandma, it was the men who made all the moves.

They asked for a date, chose the venue and paid the bill. In romantic terms, men led and women followed. A lot of the time, that set the tone for the rest of the relationship.

But is that still true today? With sexual equality on the agenda, is asking for and then paying for dates chivalrous and romantic or patronising and needy?

Here are the arguments for and against – feel free to add your own at the bottom of the page and take part in our poll.

Have men always paid for dates?

The evolutionary perspective on all this is that men may have always – in a manner of speaking – paid for dates.

That’s because, in the dark and distant past, women and their helpless, vulnerable children had a far better chance of survival if a man was around to protect them from predators and bring them food.

If you’re wondering what connection that has to you paying for dinner on your local high street, it’s this: women, particularly when they are young, pretty and fertile, have always wanted to know that men have the resources to ensure their future family’s best chance of survival. In other societies or at other times that might have meant gifts of food, money or animals, directly to the woman or to her family. More recently, in the western world, it’s translated into securing the best table at a fancy restaurant.

According to Dr Douglas Kenrick, professor of social psychology at Arizona State University, “before agreeing to bear and nurse any offspring, then, women, and their kin, often demand evidence that a potential suitor is willing, and able, to provide resources.”

What about dating today?

The fact is, some of that might linger even in these more sexually equal times. And there’s something more besides. Sex is a more complicated proposition for women than it is for men, because sex doesn’t leave men with the potential of a nine-month pregnancy and years of childcare (our basic instincts don’t tend to take birth control into consideration).

That means female company is more valuable to men than male company is to women. Hence, men often still ask, and pay for, romantic dates.

Dr Kenrick showed the difference in our relative romantic value by asking his students how much they’d pay for a one-night stand, if they lived in a society where paying for a date in this way was considered perfectly acceptable. The male students would have happily paid seven times the sum that the female students were willing to pay.

Suddenly, it becomes obvious why men still tend to ask and pay, long after the threats that faced our ancestors have disappeared. In general, female company is still prized more than male company.

Most men still pay

And it’s true that, even away from a psychologist’s classroom, the idea that men should pay for dates seems hardwired into our notions of romance.

A couple of years ago website Top Table found that 85% of men sneakily pick up the bill for dinner dates while their dates aren’t looking. Another study found that 81% of European men expected to pay for all the drinks on a first date.

In fact, even when a relationship is more established men are expected to pay more. A study conducted by moneysupermarket.com in 2009 found that men spent £48 on their wives or girlfriends on Valentine’s Day, and received, on average, just £22 worth of gifts in return.

And the expectation to be wined and dined without flashing their own cash is even more marked among pretty women, according to a study by researchers at St Andrews University published last year.

It found that, the more attractive a woman rated herself, the more likely it was that she’d expect her date to pick up the tab. “When the woman lets the man pay for her, she is basically saying she’d like a second date,” the researchers said.

In other words, a pretty woman might signal her interest by keeping her purse firmly out of sight.

But should men be expected to pay?

In the early part of a relationship many men do signal their interest – and advertise their resources – by asking for dates and paying for them. But should they?

After all, these days young women often earn as much as, or more than, young men. And the quest for equality means that many men are now confused about the right thing to do. Could an offer to pay be seen as patronising and patriarchal? Could it even be seen as needy and desperate?

Unfortunately, there are no hard and fast rules. Clearly, many women would prefer to ‘go Dutch’ and insist on doing so. Others, as we’ve seen, may expect to be paid for on the first few dates of a relationship.

Some psychologists argue that the tone of a relationship can be set in these first few weeks. If a man does the asking, arranging and paying, he is advertising his status and leadership potential. If the woman readily accepts, she’s buying into his power display. The result may be a traditional relationship where the man tends to take most of the important decisions and the woman plays a more supporting role.

But if the woman initiates some of the early dates, and the couple goes Dutch when the bill arrives, it might set the relationship on a more equal footing. That doesn’t necessarily make it a better relationship – it depends what each party wants – but the woman is clearly signalling that she won’t be a passive partner.

A simple rule

If all that’s a bit much to analyse on a first date, and you want a simple rule to follow when the bill arrives, then the compilers of etiquette guide Debrett’s may have it: the party that request the pleasure, pays for the pleasure.

If you ask her out, you pay, and if she asks you, she pays. Of course, men still initiate most first dates, but women are increasingly confident about asking for a second or third. And if that’s the case, at least you can enjoy the early weeks of a relationship without falling foul of your bank manager.

Source: http://him.uk.msn.com/sex-and-dating/should-men-always-ask-and-pay-for-dates

How to decode her flirting


Experts believe the way she flirts is a clue to her personality. But what is her flirting style telling you?

You might have just met her at a bar, or you may have known her for years. Whichever it is, you’re pretty certain you’ve noticed a flicker of sexual or romantic interest.

But what, exactly, has she done to give you that impression? It’s an important question because, according to research, her flirting style can give you a major clue about what to expect in the next few hours, days or weeks – and even what you can expect in a long term relationship (if it gets that far).

In fact, one recent study from the University of Kansas in the US identified five flirting styles and even suggested the types of relationships those styles might lead to. So here’s what her flirting might be telling you.

The physical flirt

She may ostentatiously look you up and down. She may punctuate her conversation with a playful hand on your arm or an obvious flick of her abundant blond locks. According to the psychologists at Kansas University, she’s a physical flirt, and her body language speaks volumes.

What it probably doesn’t say, however, is that you have bagged yourself a guaranteed one-night stand. You haven’t. Physical flirts might be happy to show their sexual interest, but that doesn’t mean they’re promiscuous.

She may well fall for your charms, though. According to the research, physical flirts fall head over heels quite easily, and quickly develop an emotional and – when the time comes – sexual connection.

And don’t be blinded by prejudice. Physical flirts can make for good relationships, even in the long term. Two of the key ingredients of a lasting relationship are sexual chemistry and a strong emotional bond, and physical flirts tend to develop both in abundance.

The traditional flirt

If you think you’ve seen a flicker of interest from a traditional flirt, it’s probably only a flicker. If you’re getting anywhere at all it might be because you’ve known her a long time and you’ve done all the pursuing.

In other words, the traditional flirt believes men should do the asking and women should wait to be asked. If you try other flirting techniques on her – particularly the physical kind – you’re likely to put her off. If she flirts at all it will probably be subconsciously and you’ll have to be aware of some very subtle clues, from a very brief glance in your direction to the shy, nervous fidgeting that can at least indicate interest.

How will a relationship play out? Well, you won’t have to worry about her flirting with other men. Aside from that, she’ll value the security you offer and may well be quite introverted, preferring a cosy night in with you to raucous parties or nightclubs.

The polite flirt

The polite flirt knows the rules. You’re more likely to have to approach her and you’re unlikely to feel the spark of sexual chemistry if you do. It might be there, but she’ll be careful not to let it show.

She probably won’t be cold or standoffish, mind, particularly if she likes you. She’ll engage in lively conversation. She’ll laugh at your jokes. She may swap numbers or email addresses at the end of the night.

But her flirting is likely to be non-sexual in the first instance, and she may seem a little reserved. Her manners will be impeccable but telling her that her eyes sparkle like the brightest stars in the firmament is unlikely to do you any favours. She doesn’t flirt ostentatiously and she’s not flattered by the ostentatious flirting of others.

The good news is that, according to the Kansas research, polite flirters “do tend to have meaningful relationships”. She might be hard work at the outset, but she may well be a loving and loyal partner.

The sincere flirt

There’s no game-playing with the sincere flirt, and no danger that her interest in you will only be sustained until you stop buying the drinks. If you’ve known her a while and she’s said yes to a date, it’s unlikely that she’s agreed on a whim or that she’s going into it half-heartedly. She’s checking you out as serious potential mate material.

So how do you identify a sincere flirt? Well, she might show a lot of interest in your life, work and interests. She will ask questions and be attentive to answers.

She wants to make an emotional connection and will let you know that she’s interested (if she is). So expect her to be open, honest and straight down the line. Her flirting style might not be playful or full of sexy hints and innuendo, but it will be genuine. She won’t do anything purely for effect.

Happily, she may carry that emotional honesty into any ensuing relationship. So if you don’t mess her around, she won’t mess you around, either.

The playful flirt

She’s great fun to be around and her playful, sexy flirting style can send a young man’s imagination into overdrive. You may be very glad – at first – to have chanced upon the most playful female flirt in the bar.

But be warned, the playful flirt is the diametric opposite of her sincere counterpart. She may very well flirt with you or say yes to a date on a whim. She may laugh at your jokes and compliment your style without even considering you as boyfriend material. Her flirting might suggest otherwise, but you’d be wrong to think there’s any future to your encounter beyond the next 10 minutes.

The fact is, playful flirts enjoy flirting. It’s not a means to an end (be that sex, a romance or a relationship), it’s an end in itself. They find it a fun way to spend an evening, partly because of the boost it gives to their own self-esteem. She’ll love your obvious sexual interest, but perhaps not in the way you’d hope.

And any ensuing relationship? Frankly, it’s highly unlikely there’ll be one. If there is, it will probably be fleeting and shallow. Which is fine, of course, as long as you’re not expecting a whole lot more.

If the scientists are right, you really can gauge her wants and desires from the way she flirts. Pick up on the clues early and you could save yourself a lot of heartache, or stop your own flirting style from driving a potential long-term lover away.

Source: http://him.uk.msn.com/sex-and-dating/how-to-decode-her-flirting

Love Is A Terribly Beautiful Thing.


Love ? I love love love you.

Image by @Doug88888 via Flickr

Love is a terribly beautiful thing.
It makes you feel,
whether you want to or not.
Love creates a whole entire world specifically for you and your significant other.
That fatal attraction between two souls has been the inspiration for the most beautiful and the most grotesque of art.
It has been the beating heart of the world’s greatest romances and tragedies.

Love, especially true love, makes you feel,
whether you want to or not.
If your love is happy,
your heart soars above everyone else,
bringing you joy you’ve never known before.

However, on the other side of the coin,
there is sadness beyond compare.
When your other half is in pain,
your own heart cries out from your chest in agony.
Their strife is yours also to bear.
You can never pull yourself away from them,
no matter how much it hurts.

Why?
Because this is love.
For better or worse.
Love is a beautifully terrible thing.
You can never truly understand the depths of your own happiness until it had been joined with someone else’s.
Just like you can’t know the true bottom of your soul until you have shared in the pain of another person.
You become one with that other person, and in turn, you yourself become whole.
This is love.
Isn’t it grand?

Falling in Love Exposed


This post can help women understand that many men do have feelings and think about the women they like for long periods. There are men out there who take advantage of women who want to care and love them, men find them as easy targets because they fool them by displaying similar actions for a short period of time. Not all men are like that and there are some who stay committed to the person they love. The following list in no particular order is what women ask for in a loving man:

  • Listen to her for hours and follow every word
  • Share responsibility (bills, decoration, shopping & etc.)
  • Talking before making a joint decision
  • Look after her
  • Show public affection
  • Be considerate about her feelings at all times
  • Don’t expect to be told what to do
  • Buying her a gift
  • Taking her out (restaurant, cinema, shopping & etc.)
  • Bonding with her family
  • Making her No.1 before anyone or anything
  • Unconditional love
  • Making her dinner sometimes
  • Appreciating her personality
  • Appreciating her looks (body, clothes & etc.)
  • Taking control and having a sense of direction in life
  • Financial stability for her offspring to have the best opportunities in life
  • Letting her win the argument (fighting causes more problems)
  • 100% commitment
  • 100% trust (regular communication)
  • Giving her some space and time to her own life (work, friends & family)
  • Making her feel positive, confident and happy
  • A mature relationship
  • No regular arguments over the past
  • Consistent sense of excitement (activities, intimacy & etc.)
  • Both involved in activities around the house
  • Maintaining a shared hobby (gym, shopping, books, dancing & etc.)
  • Trying something new together
  • Telling each other what they have done/how they feel on a day-to-day basis
  • Any other I may have left! (you get my point though)

Ok. Since I’m being pretty general and theoretical here let’s get a bit more specific and talk about what every women dreams about: falling in love. Here’s how people fall in love: First, understand you do NOT fall in love with someone when you are in their presence. No. You fall in love when you’re off by yourself, thinking about them afterwards. This is why it is so hypnotically powerful, because you are doing it to yourself, and people are always best hypnotists.

Here’s how it happens: you go out with someone, maybe even one date. And then you go home, and you’re lying there, thinking about them. And, you form an image of them in your mind. And as you do that, you start to list to yourself all the qualities about them that you like, “She’s so, she’s so, she’s really.” Maybe then you picture you and them having lots of fun in all sorts of situations. Then you get that warm, funny feeling right in your solar plexus, and then, the nail in your coffin, you say her name to yourself 2 or 3 times. If you’re really a geek, maybe you even dance around the house like ‘Chandler’ from ‘FRIENDS’. Or you possible go about bringing up her name in every conversation with your friends.

Sound familiar? Now, as you recall the times in your past when you did this, were you then able to stay cool, in control of yourself AND the relationship? Or were you calling her every day, always wanting to see her, and sending her the signal of being clingy, to the point where she, of course, dumped you for a man who showed attributes of masculinity.

A man, in control, pulling her away from you. No, this does not mean all women want men like that. However women do like a man to be a man no matter what. She does not want to be the one who makes you feel better if you are in tears; she wants you to be the strong one and hug her when she is in tears and be a strong character in the relationship that is her rock. Overall this gives the relationship some stability and keeps the connection strong because you will be the one she comes to when there is a problem or when she needs to be loved. If you’re not like that then some women usually have a friend, a man, who is strong and her rock who she can go to. I want to clarify that this is not always the case and every relationship is unique. However many relationships are similar to what I have discussed in this paragraph.

Here’s the point: “Love” is a process people do to themselves! It’s not a “thing” you trip over or a “hole” you fall into. And I know, even though I’m not there watching you, that as I describe it here in this post, you recalled and went through that process yourself, and recalled the feelings associated with it. And if I can do it you, on a blog, when I’m not even there, then you can, if you know how, skilfully describe this (or any other) process to a women in your presence, link it to yourself, and in a matter of minutes, cause her to undergo that process and fall in love with you on the spot, dummy!

Think about this for a second instead of dismissing it as a process that won’t work. The dummy process you did to yourself can now be used to make her fawn all over you, repeatedly and predictably!